Histories
by Hobbit985
Summary: The third installment in the 'Clinic Duty Archives' series. Relationship troubles hit both Cardiff and New Jersey but for very different reasons. After everything they've all been through can Jack and Ianto and House and Wilson get through their problems?
1. Back To The Boeshane

The Hub was eerily quiet as Gwen Williams wandered across the floor from the coffee machine were she had just finished washing up her stripy mug. She almost hadn't been able to drink. Even now she still felt sick, a whole week since those terrible events.

Gwen paused just above the Autopsy bay, glancing down to the clean table that was set up. Ianto had done a good job removing all the blood, though Gwen doubted any of them would ever be able to remove the stains from their memories.

Blinking back the tears she swallowed hard as happier memories crossed her mind. The time they'd all played basket ball, the day Ianto had first returned to work, the first time he managed to make a decent cup of coffee again and Owen had joked that he'd no longer have to risk breaking the coffee machine in order to get their caffeine fix.

_"What have you done with the real Owen?"_

_"He's mellowed! I'm good aren't I?"_

Gwen smiled a sad watery smile and shook her head. They'd been so happy. She felt worse for Jack. After all, he'd not only had to lose his brother twice, but said sibling was the person responsible for Tosh and Owen's deaths.

Shaking her head again she headed towards the Captain's office. She couldn't stay here much longer; she was going to go mad with the grief. The door was open and she paused in the doorway as she caught sight of Jack.

He was sat in his chair, staring into space, a certain Welsh tea-boy on his lap. Ianto's head was resting in the crook of Jack's neck, dark circles under his puffy eyes. One of Jack's arms was round Ianto's waist, the other free hand being slowly caressed between Ianto's.

They looked so unhappy, but somehow comforted by the fact that they had each other. Gwen almost didn't want to say anything. If she broke their train of thought then they'd be bought crashing back to reality and have to think about what had happened.

Backing out slowly she picked up a post-it-note pad and scribbled a quick note. She tore it off and stuck it to the monitor of the computer facing Jack's office.

_Gone home to spend time with Rhys. Give me a call if the world's ending._

_G xxx_

It almost broke her heat again to leave the note. It was something Tosh used to do. Mostly references for Ianto about various artefacts that needed archiving. Walking quickly towards the cog wheel door, she disappeared out of the Hub.

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The clinic was once again heaving with patients and Doctor James Wilson was among those attending to them. He picked up another file from the nurse's station and glanced at the name; Eres Youghorg. Smiling slightly he opened the door to exam room one and shut it quickly before anyone else could see.

Inside, waiting for him, was Gregory House holding a bag of bagels, two cups of coffee and his portable telly on the exam table.

"Thought you could use a break," House said gesturing at the chair next to him.

Wilson sat down, grabbing one of the coffee cups and a bagel, settling in to watch whatever medical programme House was watching.

"You know, you could do what normal people do and just wait for my actual break before showering me with edible gifts," Wilson chuckled.

"Where would be the fun in that?" House asked. "It wouldn't annoy Cuddy for a start."

"Ah, that's why you wanted me in here," Wilson nodded, taking a gulp of the coffee.

"Well, not the only reason," House said raising an eyebrow at Wilson.

"No," Wilson said firmly. "Not in the clinic."

"You're no fun," House complained.

"What if we got caught?" Wilson said. "Besides, I'd probably put my back out."

"Oh nag nag nag," House pulled a face. "It's like having a wife."

Wilson shot House a dark look.

"Don't start," he said.

"What? I was only saying-"

"I know what you were saying," Wilson replied. "And I'm saying don't start."

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_The wind blew gently across the tall grassy sand dunes, the sea calm and sparkling under the midday suns. The sound of children's laughter was just starting to drift across the bay as the first games of the day started. School was not a strict thing in the 51st century and most days the children would educate themselves through play._

_"Vincent! Come on!" A boy of about twelve stood at the top of one particularly tall sand dune, waving to his friend. He had short browny blonde hair and bright green eyes._

_"Levlin, shut up," another boy hissed at the first. "It's still early."_

_"So?" Levlin glanced between the boy next to him and Vincent who was having trouble climbing up the sand dune._

_"You've already been grounded three times this solstice," the boy next to him complained, running his hand through his dark brown wavy hair. He looked painfully at his best friend through bright blue eyes._

_"Well we're celebrating!" Levlin replied stubbornly. "It's not every day that you get your Peleck goggles!"_

_"Well I didn't have to do much," the blue eyed boy scuffed his boots on the sand awkwardly. "Just pass my first flying test."_

_"Exactly!" Levlin said. He sighed exhasperatedly as Vincent finally reached them. "At last! Come on! We're going to go skinny dipping!"_

_"Lev we can't!" Vincent stared at his friends wide eyed. "What if They attack whilst we're there? Or the Sloulis come swiming by? My sister's mate Alfie reckons he knows a guy who lost all his limbs when he went swimming!"_

_"Duh, that's why we're going in the morning!" Levlin rolled his eyes. "They only come out at Twilight."_

_"But... still, Lev," the boy with blue eyes shifted. "If They were to attack while we're in the water..."_

_Levlin looked between his friends, scowling._

_"They're only goggles," the blue eyed boy tugged at his goggles nervously. "I still might not get into the academy."_

_"Not without me you won't," Levlin said, but smiled as he relented. "Ok, let's go and see if we can find a ball."_

~~

That was how Jack Harkness remembered the Boeshane Peninsula. Most of the time anyway. That particular memory was from three days before his brother was taken. He'd been so happy to finally receive his Peleck goggles.

Jack turned over and glanced at Ianto, the Welshman's face partially lit by the light from the streetlamp shinning through a crack in the curtains. Jack had loved so many people in his time and he wasn't sure he could lose another.

Normally he would've been up and wandering around. He couldn't stand sleep. He didn't really need it and he had nightmares when he forced himself to rest. It was times like that that made him realise why the Doctor kept running and never stopped. Keeping busy was the only thing stopping his demons consuming him.

Tonight though Jack shuffled across the bed to Ianto's sleeping form, wrapping an arm round the warm body. He knew Ianto didn't mind waking up alone, especially as he understood how hard Jack found sleep, but just this once, Jack knew it would help them both if they woke and they were still together. Jack closed his eyes. He didn't have to sleep, he could just rest.


	2. Jersey Troubles

"We could just tell her."

"I don't want to tell her."

"Why not?"

"It's none of her business."

"She's not going to use it against you. Especially since I'm involved."

"I know."

"So why don't you want to tell her?"

"I just don't!" House exploded.

Wilson blinked, sitting in the chair opposite. House had been irritable all week and it was starting to annoy Wilson.

"It's because it's me isn't it?" He asked. "If it were a girl you'd have no problem flaunting it in front of everyone."

"No, it's not," House softened a little. "I'm just... I'm not used to having a personal life and I don't really want anyone else knowing."

"What if I do?" Wilson asked frowning. "Why can't I tell Cuddy?"

"It's supposed to be two way Wilson," House said.

"Exactly and all you've done is taken from me," Wilson snapped, standing up. "I'm going to finish up my clinic duty. I'll see you later."

"Wilson," House sighed. "James wait!"

But Wilson was already out of the door.

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_Jack stared at the letter in front of him. He knew he was dreaming and it should have his real name on it, but it had been so long since he'd used it that he'd almost forgotten that person entirely._

_He felt a hand on his shoulder and looked up to see his mother. Her beautiful blonde hair, the dazzling smile he'd inherited, but she always looked so tired nowadays. One whole year since his Dad had died and Gray had disappeared. _

_Neither of them had stopped looking. They'd taken trips halfway across the planet in the hope someone had found Gray, taken him and looked after him. Now Jack was staring at written confirmation he'd been accepted into the academy. In a few years time he could sign up and help fight. He could become a pilot and take down as many of the creatures that had destroyed his family as possible. Somehow, it wasn't as pleasant a thought as he had previously dreamt it to be._

_"I'm so proud of you son," his mother squeezed his shoulder gently. _

_"Mom," Jack began, folding the letter up and carefully placing it back inside the envelope. "I... I was thinking..."_

_"We'll have to have a proper celebration later," his mother continued, apparently not having heard Jack. "You could invite some of your friends round. Levlin, Vincent, Sandy-"_

_"Sandy was Gray's friend," Jack said quietly._

_His mother froze. She turned back to the table where Jack was sat, staring at the yellow envelope. In one quick movement she was by his side, one hand on his shoulder again. But this time the hand was gripping just a little too tight, the smile not quite reaching his mother's eyes._

_"What did you say?" She asked._

_"Sandy was Gray's friend and you know it," Jack didn't meet his mother's gaze._

_His mother's hand moved so quickly he barely had time to react and Jack was on the floor clutching his cheek before he knew what was happening._

_"Oh, son, I'm sorry, I didn't-" his mother was babbling, but Jack wasn't listening._

_He stood up and ran outside onto the sand, pushing a few smaller kids out of the way as he went, tears rolling down his face as one hand gently rubbed the cheek his mother had slapped._

_It was never about him anymore. Whenever anything good happened, it always ended up leading back to his Dad and Gray, like somehow the only reason for anything anymore was their deaths. His Dad's death. There was still no proof Gray was dead._

_Jack ran all the way to the tree he'd hidden under all those solstices ago when he'd finally realised he'd let go of Gray's hand. It was all his fault. It was always his fault. He sat crying. He wished he'd never taken that stupid flying test._

_"Hi," a voice that sounded far too cheerful popped into ear shot a few feet away. Jack looked up and saw Levlin stood in front of him. "What's up with you?"_

_Jack wiped his eyes._

_"Nothing," he said taking a shaky breath._

_"Hey what happened to your face?" Levlin reached out a hand to Jack's cheek, but he flinched away before his friend could touch it. "Sorry."_

_Lev's hand dropped to his side and he sat beside Jack, watching some of the other kids run about laughing._

_"Vince isn't coming out today," Lev continued, changing tact. "His Mom caught him wearing her dress again."_

_Jack smiled slightly and almost laughed._

_"Was that a smile?" Levlin teased._

_"No," Jack quickly wiped the smirk off his face._

_"Yes it was," Levlin poked Jack in the side._

_"Fine you big idiot," Jack elbowed his friend back. "It was a smile."_

_"See, I knew I could cheer you up," Levlin grinned. "You wanna talk about it?"_

_"Not really," Jack shook his head. "I got my letter of confirmation today. I'm in the academy."_

_"Fantastic! So am I!" Levlin stood up. "This calls for a celebration!"_

_He held out a hand to his friend and hoisted Jack to his feet. Jack stumbled and found he was suddenly stood just a little too close. The 51st century had few social boundaries. If you loved someone you loved them, there was no one to judge anymore, very little prejudice. That didn't mean it was any easier telling someone when you fancied them._

_"Look, we could carry on like this forever," Levlin sighed rolling his eyes._

_"What?" Jack looked confused._

_"Just kiss me already," Lev took Jack's hand, lowering his voice and being serious for once. "I've known that you've wanted to for, like, ever."_

_Jack swallowed. Sometimes Levlin was smarter than Jack gave him credit for._

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Jack woke with a start. His heart ached. No matter how long a person had been gone, it still hurt when he remembered them. He turned over and found himself face to face with a very much awake Ianto.

"Are you ok?" The Welshman asked. "You were calling for someone called Levlin."

"I'm fine," Jack said, his stomach twisting into knots.

Ianto didn't look like he believed Jack, but he didn't press the matter either. Gwen would've dived straight in with questions and demanded to know everything which made it easy to deny and lie. Ianto always waited for answers, which made it so easy to give them.

Jack's stomach suddenly did another back flip. He sat up. That wasn't good. He barely made it to the bathroom before he was throwing up.


	3. Admissons

"Maybe we should give Martha a call?" Ianto suggested, fumbling with a knife as he tried to cut some bread.

"I'm not sick," Jack replied wandering in from the bathroom and taking the knife out of Ianto's hands.

"Throwing up suggests something's not quite right Jack," Ianto frowned slightly, annoyed that Jack still didn't quite trust him to be able to do everything by himself.

"I don't get sick Ianto," Jack assured him, slicing the bread. "It's just stress. All that's happened over the past week and... "

Ianto reached out to squeeze Jack's shoulder gently. Jack put down the knife, leaning heavily on the counter top.

"We should still call Martha," Ianto said quietly. "We need a medic and a techie."

"We're fine as we are," Jack replied, putting the rest of the bread away as he put the slices in the toaster.

"Jack," Ianto pulled his arm, forcing Jack to look at him. "The first time we need an autopsy performing... or a piece of tech floats through the rift we're not going to be able to cope. I can only just do the tasks I'm assigned and you and Gwen don't have the training. We need to hire-"

"We're not hiring replacements," Jack snapped.

"No... we're not," Ianto folded his arms, frowning at Jack again. "But you know I'm right. We need to hire someone."

"I know..." Jack sighed. "I'm sorry."

"It's fine," Ianto shrugged. "I'd get annoyed with me too."

Jack watched Ianto reach for the bottle of pills kept in the kitchen. As he picked them up, Ianto's sleeve was pulled up a little revealing the still fresh scars on his arm. After everything they'd been through it was only a couple of months ago that Jack had been worried about losing Ianto.

Ianto noticed him looking and tugged at his pyjama sleeves awkwardly as he went to fetch a glass of water. It wasn't that the scars themselves bothered him (he already had several large ones on his front from the surgery). It was the reminder that he'd caused them himself when he'd been... well, going insane. He sat down at the island counter in the middle of the kitchen, downing his pills with the water.

"I'll call Martha later," Jack promised, setting a plate of toast down in front of Ianto.

"They'd understand," Ianto said after a moment. "They know we could never replace them."

"Yeah," Jack nodded smiling weakly.

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Wilson opened the door to the apartment and dumped his bag down, letting the door swing shut behind him. It had been a long day, one spent without House. He hadn't been too bothered at the time, after all they lived together, and if they spent all their time working together they'd get sick of each other very quickly.

But when he'd gone to find House to see if he wanted a lift home he had discovered that the medic had left in the early afternoon, long before Wilson had gone looking.

"Hello?" Wilson called out as he took his coat off and hung it up.

"I thought you were never coming home!"

Usually a comment like that from House would be laden with sarcasm, but today it was spoken softly, almost with concern. Wilson glanced up at House and smiled slightly bemused.

"I'm not that late," he replied, watching House limp back into the kitchen.

"When you haven't eaten since breakfast, this constitutes as late," House called over his shoulder. "I had a go at making dinner again."

"Oh..." Wilson sounded doubtful now. "Have you destroyed the kitchen?"

"Well... it doesn't look like a bomb's hit it if that's what you mean," House replied, though Wilson didn't like the tone of his voice. "But I might've made a bit of a mess."

"How much of a mess?" Wilson wandered towards the kitchen, not sure if he wanted to see how dirty the kitchen was.

"It's not that bad!" House complained when he saw Wilson approaching with his hand over his eyes. "Besides, I'll clean it."

"What've you made?" Wilson asked, lowering his hand slowly and trying not to look at the mess.

"Lasagne!" House grinned, offering a plate to Wilson.

Surprisingly it looked edible. In fact, it looked more than edible and it smelled gorgeous. Wilson smiled slightly glancing at House.

"Thanks," he said, grabbing a knife and fork and heading for the couch.

"It's alright," House shrugged, following. "I thought I better make it up to you."

"Make it up to me?" Wilson frowned slightly as he flicked on the T.V.

"I've been a real bastard these last few days," House pulled a face. "You don't deserve it."

"I'm still not used to you apologising," Wilson smiled.

"Mention it to anyone and I don't have to tell you where my cane is going," House smirked in reply.

"Oh House..." Wilson moaned. "Some days I'm still struggling to sit down. I don't know how you ride that bike to work every day."

"Extra Vicodin," House said.

"House," Wilson shot him a look.

"Only one or two!" House said defensively. "Just enough to take the edge off."

Wilson nodded resisting the urge to roll his eyes and forked another mouthful of the lasagne. It tasted just as good as it smelled and he couldn't help but feel a small bubble of happiness at the fact House had done this specially.

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"Jack?" Ianto wandered through to the bedroom and frowned slightly as he found Jack rummaging through their clothes. "What are you doing?"

"Oh you're back," Jack smiled at Ianto, not having heard the Welshman return from his shopping trip. "I'm packing."

"For what?" Ianto asked wandering forward, white plastic Asda bags still clutched in his hands.

"We're going camping," Jack replied, shoving more clothes into the rucksack. "Don't worry, it's all arranged. Gwen says she's fine keeping an eye on things at the Hub and I told her that any major emergencies will have to be dealt with by others.

"Jack, you're not making any sense..." Ianto's frown deepened.

"I phoned Martha," Jack paused in his packing. "She said that there's a UNIT training camp happening this weekend. If we go down there, we can observe the rookies and see if they've got anybody we could hire."

"But... UNIT? When I said call Martha I didn't mean-"

"Martha says that they've got enough knowledge of aliens that they won't be fazed by Torchwood, but they're not so soldier like that they'll kill every being they come into contact with," Jack continued. "It's perfect for us to go and see if anyone's got what we need. Besides, it's not like we have to mingle with the guys in charge."

"So... why are you packing now? It's only Thursday, surely the 'weekend' doesn't start until tomorrow?" Ianto asked.

"Well..." Jack hesitated. He could tell Ianto the real reason... or he could lie. Looking at the Welshman he knew he couldn't just dismiss him. "I... I thought if we got down there now... before the training starts then Martha could check me over. You know, make sure I'm definitely not sick."

"Have you thrown up again?" Ianto stepped forward worriedly, dropping the bags and standing beside Jack.

"Yeah..." Jack said finally, not quite meeting Ianto's gaze. "Look, it's probably just stress, but I know you worry, so I'll get Martha to check me over ok?"

"Ok..." Ianto nodded finally. He helped Jack pack up the rest of their stuff, watching him carefully. Ianto had the bad feeling that Jack knew exactly what was wrong with him and he just didn't want to worry Ianto.


	4. Sickness And Arguments

AN: My appologies for all the mix ups over the last few days. For some reason chapters have not been uploading properly and when they have they've been italics all the way through. For some reason won't let me put italics in certain places, if I put italics in then the whole document ends up that way when published even though it's not in the document manager. I can only appologise and hope it does not discourage you from reading what should be a perfectly enjoyable story (I hope anyway). :)

_The solstice they turned sixteen, three after their friend Vincent became Vanessa, Jack and Levlin started thinking seriously about signing up to fight in the war. When they were younger it had simply been the dream that all children shared. Get your Peleck goggles, graduate from the academy and become a war pilot._

_But when the moment actually came that they were old enough to fight, it suddenly became a lot more real. There was a good chance that they would die out there and Jack knew that it would destroy what little was left of his mother if she lost her only remaining son._

_"Maybe we shouldn't," Levlin broke through Jack's thoughts._

_They were lying together at the top of one of the dunes, Jack propped up on one elbow, running his fingers through Levlin's soft hair. Jack frowned slightly. Levlin had been all for signing up straight away, but now..._

_"Yeah, maybe not," Jack agreed. _

_"I mean, I'm not a coward but..." Levlin sat up._

_"I know," Jack assured him. "But if we sign up, chances are we'll die and... then I'll never find Gray."_

_"Exactly," Levlin agreed._

_They sat in silence for a moment, staring out across the water. They both noticed the sense of dread that settled over the Peninsula, but they were so used to it being a warning of Them coming that they took little notice. _

_So when a black hover craft turned up, both Jack and Levlin stood up frowning. They glanced at each other before heading down the sand dune to see what, or who had arrived._

_Out of the vehicle stepped four men in black suits, wearing sunglasses. Their skin was pale and it was evident that they had spent little time outside. They stared round, observing the many children who had paused in their activities to look at the men._

_One man seemed to say something to the other three and they began to spread out, approaching various kids. One man walked straight up to Jack and Levlin, towering over them._

_"You two," he said in a voice that didn't seem to fit his character. It was high and sounded eerily familiar, but Jack was pretty sure he'd never heard anyone talk like that before. "You will come with us."_

_"What? Why?" Jack frowned, Levlin's hand seeking out his._

_"You will come with us," the man repeated._

_"No," Jack said firmly shaking his head._

_Before they had time to protest further the three men all grabbed the kids they were talking to and with a strength that no human could posses, bundled them into the back of the hover craft._

_Some of the children cried, others tried banging on the side in an attempt to escape. Jack and Levlin sat in the dark, curled up together in a corner, holding each other's hands so tightly it was a wonder that either of them could still feel their fingers._

_"Jack?" Levlin whispered, just audible above the other children._

_"Yeah?"_

_"I lied. I am a coward. And I'm really scared."_

_"Yeah, me too."_

~~

Jack awoke once more in a cold sweat. Why now? Why were all these memories coming back to him now? He could understand the ones concerning his brother, but the rest of his life on the Boeshane, all the people he'd loved and lost, they were not things he wanted dragged from the depths of his mind.

He turned over and glanced at Ianto who was asleep next to him. The Welshman was so young and yet in his short life he'd seen nearly as much death and destruction as Jack had at his age.

Careful not to wake Ianto, Jack slipped out of the bed and wandered across the hotel room towards the bathroom. He shut and locked it behind himself, kneeling beside the toilet. He didn't feel nauseas but he knew he'd throw up soon.

Sure enough, he hadn't been there five minutes before he was wiping his mouth and sitting with his back against the bath, knees drawn up to his chest. Why did this have to happen now? He had the sinking feeling he knew exactly what was wrong and he wasn't sure he could cope. Not now. Not after everything that had happened.

He closed his eyes as the first few tears slipped down his face. The pain of it the first few times had been dreadful. He wouldn't be able to go through that again.

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Wilson wandered into House's office and sat down in the chair opposite. House glanced at him over the top of his glasses, looking up from the file he was reading.

"Bought lunch," Wilson smiled slightly holding up the sandwiches.

"Cheese and pickle?" House asked, taking one of the sandwiches. Wilson nodded and House smiled at him. "Ahh, you know me so well."

"Yeah, I do," Wilson agreed, biting into the other sandwich. "I was just-"

House's office door opened and Thirteen wandered in holding a file in her hands. She hesitated for a moment, glancing between House and Wilson before holding out the file to House.

"Twenty eight year old female presented with skin lesions, low BP and respiratory problems," she began.

"Food allergy," House said, looking at Thirteen with a mixture of pity that she could be so stupid and annoyance that someone _he'd_ hired could be so stupid.

"Yeah," Thirteen nodded. "But she hasn't eaten in the last seventy two hours."

House narrowed his eyes slightly before chucking the file back at Thirteen who caught it deftly.

"Round up the ducklings," he said. "Get the symptoms on the board. I'll be there in a minute."

House quickly finished off the last of his sandwich as Thirteen disappeared to find Taub and Kutner. He grabbed his cane and started limping towards the door.

"Duty calls! I'll see you tonight," he said. He paused in the doorway waiting for a response. "Wilson?"

"You told her didn't you?" Wilson asked, his voice low.

"What makes you think-"

"Answer the question House!" Wilson snapped, standing up. "Did you tell her?"

"Yes," House nodded, frowning at Wilson. "It's not like she's going to tell anyone, and she doesn't judge. She's bi for goodness sake!"

"That's not the point!" Wilson fumed. "You told her after you had a go at me for wanting to tell Cuddy!"

"This is different-"

"How?" Wilson asked. "Because you have the power to make her life miserable if she tells anyone?"

"Yes! Exactly!" House replied.

Wilson just shook his head, looking at House in disbelief.

"On what planet did you..." He trailed off. "You know what? Forget it."

He stormed towards the door, flinging it open and heading off up the corridor towards his own office. House followed him out into the hall.

"You can't just keep running away every time we have an argument!" He called after Wilson.

"I'm not running away!" Wilson shouted, pausing at the other end of the hallway.

"Looks like it from where I'm standing," House replied.

"Oh? From your position on the moral high ground? Surrounded by your wall with armed sentries of sarcasm and arrogance?" Wilson shot back. "Yeah. I'm sure it does look like I'm running away."

"Wilson..." House faltered, giving Wilson time to continue his journey to his office and slam the door loudly.


	5. Hopeless and Helpless

"Jack, you look dreadful," Martha Jones frowned in concern at her friend, ushering him to sit down.

Jack and Ianto had met up with Martha in a cafe just outside the UNIT complex to discuss the 'rules'. Jack had the feeling that UNIT were a little miffed Torchwood had decided to come and steal some of their potential employees and had warned Martha that if there was any funny business then they would _all_ be kicked off the site.

"Thanks," Jack rolled his eyes.

"Sorry, but you do," Martha frowned. "When was the last time you ate something?"

"You sound like Ianto," Jack smiled weakly. "I'm fine ok? We need to talk about this training thing-"

"Jack," Martha interrupted. "You don't get sick. If you've got something that could potentially infect the entire camp then-"

"I haven't," Jack assured her. "It's just stress. You can check me over later to be absolutely sure, ok?"

Martha didn't look convinced by his answer, but something in his tone suggested he didn't want to talk about his illness right then.

"Ok," she said. "Here's the deal. UNIT will turn a blind eye to what you're doing as long as you stay out of the way and remain invisible."

"Invisible," Jack smiled slightly. "I seem to remember I'm good at going unnoticed."

Martha hid her knowing smile, taking another sip from the mug of hot chocolate in front of her. Ianto remained silent. He'd been on edge from the moment Jack had mentioned the word 'cafe'. He hated anywhere that processed coffee. Jack could tell the Welshman was itching to get his hands on the utensils and make what he deemed to be a 'proper' cup of the hot beverage.

"They've also said that should they want either of the trainees you pick then you're gonna have to re-think," Martha continued.

"They're not very giving are they?" Jack sighed. "Fine. You won't even know we're there. Promise."

"Everyone knows when you're about Jack Harkness," Martha smiled.

"So where are we staying? I mean you said this place was up in the woods somewhere?" Jack said, laying his hand on top of Ianto's in an attempt to calm him down.

"Ah," Martha put down her mug and picked up a bag from beside her. She handed it to Jack and he turned it over in his hands.

"Oh you have got to be kidding me."

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House lay staring at the ceiling in pain and miserable. Wilson had refused to come to bed and was now kipping on the couch. Despite his best attempts to apologise to Wilson the Oncologist had still been mad at House when they arrived home.

Sighing House turned over, glancing at the clock. Three in the morning. Groaning House sat up, popped a few Vicodin pills out of the bottle and swallowed them. He stood up shakily, leaning heavily on his cane as he limped through to the living room.

Wilson was fast asleep and for a moment House stood watching him. It was only in his sleep that Wilson ever looked truly relaxed. Sighing again House continued to the kitchen and got himself a glass of water before heading back to bed.

After four hours trying to get back to sleep, House eventually gave up. He listened to Wilson as the Oncologist got up and washed, dressed and left without saying a word to House. He hadn't even come into the bedroom to see if he was awake.

Shouting House could deal with. Screaming, arguments, anger, they were all things he could sort. But the silent treatment was something else. The times Wilson refused to talk, refused to listen, those were the times that House despaired.

He had one thing he could use in life. His mind. The extensive medical knowledge and ability to observe life from outside the box were the only things that defined him from the rest of mankind and by shutting him out, Wilson denied House the chance to use these skills.

House couldn't argue, he couldn't concentrate on solving the puzzles, he couldn't do anything. Annoyingly, and despite promising himself after his infarction that he would remain independent, he found it increasingly hard to live without Wilson.

He took his bike to work a few hours later and shut himself in his office. His team attempted more than once to see if he was ok but after barking at them to get lost they took the hint and didn't return.

House stood up after a few hours and went out onto his balcony, hopping the dividing wall and pushing the door to Wilson's office open.

"Look, I'm sorry ok?" He said, standing in the doorway.

"Sometimes House, sorry isn't good enough," Wilson replied without looking up.

"What else can I do to make it up to you?" House asked.

"Could've tried not doing it in the first place," Wilson marked something on a piece of paper, infuriating House by refusing to meet the other Doctor's gaze.

"Yes, but unfortunately I don't possess the ability to change the past," House said through gritted teeth.

"But that's just it House," Wilson finally looked up. "You can't change it. So why do you do it? You never stop to think about the repercussions."

House sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose for a moment thinking. Finally he looked up at Wilson again, his arm falling limply to his side.

"I don't know what else to say," he shrugged. "Are you really going to let something like this ruin what we have?"

"I'm not even sure what exactly it is that we have House," Wilson shook his head. "Every time I get a clear view you change the rules. I'm starting to think that this is just a game to you. Friends with perks. See how far you can push it before I move out and prove your theory of conditional relationships true."

House stood frozen, almost unable to believe that Wilson could think that. He made it sound as though House cared so little. When he didn't say anything Wilson glanced up at House.

"I have work to do," he said. "I'll see you later."

He stood up and pulled on his lab coat, heading for the door. It shut with a quiet click, leaving House stood in the slowly dying light of dusk.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"When I decided this would be a good way to find new team members I did not realise it would involve camping," Jack stood looking at the tent with a comical look of horror plastered over his face.

"You know, we'd have the tent up quicker if you helped rather than standing there," Ianto said quietly as he fumbled with the poles, trying to click them together.

"I thought you said you knew how to do this?" Jack asked, frowning slightly.

"Yes, but the brain damage has left me with an inability to work my hands properly," Ianto held up the offending tent pole. "Remember?"

"Sorry," Jack took the pole from him and clipped it together, helping Ianto to thread it into the material of the tent.

Eventually they managed to get the tent up and shoved all their stuff inside, collapsing down on the grass. Martha appeared suddenly, standing over them.

"Finally finished then?" She asked.

"In my defence I have a scrambled brain," Ianto replied. "We'd have been finished a lot quicker if I'd been able to do everything myself."

"I've just never been camping," Jack shrugged. "Bar one time up in the Brecon Beacons and I didn't have to put the tents up then."

"No, he delegated," Ianto tutted quietly.

"You two are like a married couple!" Martha giggled. "Come on, they're having a 'get-to-know-you' session in the main lodge."

"We don't have to participate do we?" Jack asked smiling slightly. "Ask me about my history and we'll be here forever."


	6. Downward Spiral

_When he awoke he was aware of a stabbing pain across his stomach. Thinking quickly he tried to remember what had happened. He remembered being on the Peninsula sand dunes with Levlin. Then the men in black arrived and... oh god. They'd taken him and Levlin... shoved them in the back of the hover craft._

_Jack tried to open his eyes, but the lights were too bright. He spent several minutes trying to focus. He wanted to shield his eyes, but his hands were tied to something. When he finally managed to look around he realised he was in some sort of hospital. His hands were tied to the sides of the bed._

_He sat up a little and pain shot across his stomach. Glancing down he could just make out a neat row of stitches, spanning from one side to the other of his abdomen. Jack looked around taking in the whole room._

_He was alone. Just him in the bed. There was no bedside table, nothing. Only four white walls and a door were visible. _

_"Hel-hello?" Jack called out anxiously. Where on earth was he? Where was Levlin?_

_The door creaked open and a nurse wandered in. She smiled at him and examined the clipboard at the end of his bed for a moment._

_"No complications I see," the nurse said. "You're doing very well."_

_"Where am I? Where's Levlin?" Jack said quickly. "We were together... in the hover craft and..."_

_He suddenly remembered what had happened afterwards. All the kids had been led into a vast hall where their parents had been waiting. They'd been told why they'd been selected. Some sort of experimental breeding plan... Jack hadn't really been listening. All he knew was the parents of all the kids had to sign a form agreeing. _

_It hadn't exactly been fair. It wasn't like the parents had guns pointing at them, but they didn't seem to have a choice. The soft eerie voices of the men had some sort of power behind them that caused the parents to become confused. When told signing the forms would be the best thing, they all meekly agreed._

_That was when more of the men in black had appeared and dragged the kids off separately. Jack remembered them trying to sedate him, but he'd put up a fight and in the end they had to tie him down. They began the operation before he was fully out of it, but the pain had soon rectified that._

_"What have you done to me?" Jack demanded. The nurse's smile never faltered and Jack shuddered slightly. _

_"Your mother signed you up for the EBP, don't you remember?" She said softly. "They performed a little operation to equip you with a uterus. As soon as the scars have healed and you've finished your course of meds you will be able to have kids."_

_"What?" Jack frowned at her. "But... that doesn't... how..?"_

_The nurse started heading towards the door. Jack called after her, but she left without saying another word. He lay back down in the bed, desperately wishing he could curl up and cry._

~~

Jack woke in a cold sweat, tangled up in his sleeping bag. He glanced over at where Ianto should have been lying, but the other sleeping bag was empty. It was neatly straightened out however and judging by the amount of light inside the tent it seemed that Ianto had already gone for breakfast.

Jack got up and pulled on some clothes, stumbling out of the tent and stretching. This was a big mistake. No sooner had he stretched than a wave of nausea passed over him and he had to leg it over to the nearest tree so he could lean on it as he threw up what little was in his stomach.

Groaning he straightened again when he'd finally finished and started walking towards the main lodge. The tables were arranged by speciality. There was a table of medics, a table of soldiers, a table of technicians, a table of journalists and finally the staff table.

Martha was sat at one end, talking to Ianto. Jack smiled slightly and made his way over to them, grabbing a plate and some toast on his way. Sitting down next to Ianto, the pair of them glanced up at Jack.

"Morning," Jack said, noting the look of concern on their faces. "What's wrong?"

"Are you ok?" Ianto asked.

"I'm fine..." Jack frowned slightly. "Why?"

"Jack," Martha stood up. "I think you had better come with me."

"Why?" Jack asked worriedly.

"You've got blood smeared round your mouth," Martha said. "And all inside your mouth. If you've thrown up again today then I suspect it's probably coming from your stomach, which is not a good sign."

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House was getting more and more miserable with each passing day. Wilson still wouldn't sleep in the bed and continued staying on the couch. He would get up and leave without talking to House, then avoid the maverick doctor throughout the day. Even when House did occasionally catch up with Wilson, they would end up arguing.

House doubted whether he'd ever be able to fix the mess he'd created. He hated himself for not knowing what to do. He tried apologising to Wilson, sent him notes and small (usually edible) gifts, but nothing seemed to work.

In fact House began to wonder if Wilson was making him work on purpose. Maybe this was his way of proving that House really needed him and wasn't just using Wilson.

After a whole week of the silent treatment House decided that enough was enough and went home early, intending on cooking Wilson dinner. Even if they ate in silence and ignored each other, at least he would be trying. What more could he do?

As he opened the door to the apartment however he frowned. Someone was moving about in the bedroom. House shut the front door and limped through the apartment to find out what, or who, exactly was making the noise.

He opened the bedroom door to find Wilson, suitcase on the bed, halfway through packing. House's heart sank and a painful twinge shot through his leg.

"Going somewhere?" He asked watching Wilson.

"I didn't think you were going to be back yet," Wilson said quietly, not looking from his packing.

"So... what? You were just going to leave without telling me?" House tried his best not to sound hurt.

"I just need some time," Wilson put the shirt he was holding into the suitcase before wandering towards House. "It's not forever, ok? I... I just think it would be better if we spent some time apart..."

"Oh..." House couldn't think of anything else to say.

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After an hour of asking questions and examining Jack, Martha had a pretty good idea of what was wrong. His medical history had been quite interesting and had complicated things a little, but as far as she could tell, she had the answer.

"Jack," she began. "In the 51st century... had... had humans evolved from what they are now?"

"Well..." Jack considered swallowing hard. If he didn't tell her what he knew was wrong, then it wouldn't be real. He really didn't want it to be real. "We have better immune systems, but since travelling with the Doctor, mine's adapted the same as yours has, but... to be honest we're not that different."

Martha watched him carefully. He was pale and tired and clearly unhappy, which gave her some indication that Jack definitely knew what was wrong.

"Wait here a moment," she said, standing up and heading out of the room.

Jack glanced round. Martha had dragged him straight from the main lodge into the medical one and he was now sat on what was clearly a hospital bed. No chance of making anyone feel comfortable then.

When Martha returned she was wheeling a machine with her. The oh-so familiar screen told Jack what it was straight away, though he didn't want to acknowledge it.

"Lie down," Martha said gently.

Jack did as Martha instructed, closing his eyes for a moment.

"I'm going to... I just need to check if there's any..." She hesitated. "I just want to make sure there's nothing perforating your stomach."

They both knew it was a lie, but somehow it was easier to accept what was happening that way. Jack lifted his shirt up, wincing at the cold as Martha squirted some gel onto his stomach. She ran the wand over his abdomen, searching carefully.

The sound that reverberated round the room should have filled Jack with joy, but he could think of nothing worse than the sound of that heartbeat. He kept his eyes firmly ahead of himself, refusing to look at the ultrasound screen.

"Jack..." Martha looked at him. "You're pregnant."


	7. Lonely Past Lonlier Future

House sighed as he downed yet another drink. Wilson had moved out and so far things hadn't gotten any better. Ok, so they were on speaking terms now, but it was short awkward conversations were neither really knew what to say to the other.

He felt so lonely without someone else at the apartment. He just wanted Wilson to come home. He was more than willing to talk. About anything. He'd do anything just to have Wilson back and talking to him properly.

Pulling out his mobile House flipped it open and found Wilson's name, dialling quickly before he lost the courage. He wasn't quite sure whether it was Wilson or the answer phone he was talking to. His senses were impaired by the drink.

"Hey, it's me..." House hesitated. "Look... I really miss you... please... come home and we can talk about it... I'm sorry I told Thirteen about us... I didn't mean for it to sound like there was one rule for you and another for me... I'm just... I'm not the easiest person to live with... you know that... it's not an excuse but-"

"House, where are you?" Wilson's voice startled House.

"I... I'm in a bar... it's called Sharries, it's just across town," House said. "I meant what I said."

"I know," Wilson replied. "I miss you too. Look... I can't promise that things will be ok... but we'll talk yeah? I'll come and pick you up. See you in a minute."

House stared at his phone for a moment before putting it back in his pocket and ordering another drink. Wilson walked through the door after House's third 'last shot'.

"Hey," Wilson sat down beside him. "How many have you had?"

"Don't start," House rolled his eyes. "I called you to make up not have another argument."

"I'm not talking to you like this," Wilson said. "Come on, I'm taking you home."

House sighed and stood up shakily, grabbing his cane. He allowed Wilson to lead him outside.

"Hey, where are we going?" House frowned slightly.

"I wasn't sure where the bar was," Wilson replied. "So I came by bus and asked for directions."

"Oh right..." House nodded. "We're taking the bus home then?"

"Well... you are..." Wilson hesitated. "I don't think I should stay."

House felt his heart sink. Wilson still hadn't forgiven him then.

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"Have you told Ianto?" Martha asked in an undertone as she sat down next to Jack. He was watching the trainee's playing a 'team-building' game and was particularly struck by several people.

"No," Jack replied. "There's no point anyway."

"Jack, it's a baby," Martha said in an undertone. "Don't you think he deserves to know he's going to become a father?"

"He's not going to," Jack shook his head. "Because it's not a baby. It's a foetus and it won't live past five and a half months."

"What do you mean?" Martha frowned slightly, shifting closer as Jack's voice dipped.

~~

_After being released from the medical hospital Jack and Levlin were sent back home. It was hard to adjust to normal life after nearly a whole solstice away. Those kids that had been taken for the EBP were labelled and ridiculed, bullied to the point where some killed themselves._

_Jack and Levlin had it tough for a time, but being holders of their Peleck goggles and graduating from the academy with such high marks meant that they still held a certain amount of respect.  
_

_Jack's mother slowly shut down and towards the end it was her son who did most of the mothering. When she finally died Jack had moved past sad. He'd lost his mother the same day he'd lost his Dad and Gray. It was just her shell that died._

_After everything that happened, Jack and Levlin decided to sign up to fight. It was somewhat expected of them and if they were totally honest with themselves, there wasn't much left for them on the Peninsula._

_After snapping out of the spell of the men in black coats Levlin's parents had deemed him an abomination and disowned him. This had hit Levlin hard, who had tried desperately to explain that _they _had signed the form, but they wouldn't listen._

_So Jack and Levlin decided to make their own way in the world. They moved away from the Peninsula and into the cities. It was the solstice they turned twenty that it happened. They'd always been careful, especially after the operations both had suffered, but somehow, Jack ended up pregnant._

_They discussed it and in the end decided to have and keep the child. So for four blissful months they were happy and planning a family. Then month five rolled around and Jack began to get stomach cramps._

_They went to the EBP members and tried to get help. But nothing could be done. They claimed that it wasn't the womb; that Jack was just one of the unfortunate few whose body reacted badly to the first pregnancy, but it was still devastating to lose their baby._

_That wasn't the last though. Twice more with Levlin and then three more times with other partners and still Jack couldn't make it past five and a half months with the child. In the end he vowed never to go through the pain again. Not after the last one. His partner killed himself when the baby died, leaving Jack not only to keep it together after miscarrying, but after losing his lover as well._

~~

Martha's hand had ended up clutching Jack's at some point during his recollection and he squeezed it gently when he caught the look of horror and upset on her face.

"It's fine," he said quietly. "I just... it's going to be the same this time and I don't want Ianto to have to go through that. We... we've only had sex twice since getting back together... I don't think he'd be able to cope if I revealed this... his confidence is already shot..."

"What about you though?" Martha asked. "You can't go through this alone Jack."

"I'll be alright," Jack smiled weakly. "Tough as old-"

"ELVIS! FOR GOODNESS SAKE!"

The cry cut through Jack and Martha's conversation and they turned to look at the trainee's surrounding two people who looked like they were about to go three rounds with each other.

"What?" 'Elvis' tried to look innocent as a sandy brown haired girl glared at him.

"You know full well what! Every time I come close to catching the ball you keep coughing to put me off!" The girl growled. "It's annoying and it's cheating. Do you really think that UNIT are going to want cheaters?"

"Do you really think they're going to want people who get annoyed over the tiniest things?" Elvis shot back. "Besides, you know they won't hire one of us without the other."

"You know when people argue that much," Jack began but was cut across.

"Just because I had to spend nine months sharing a womb with you does not mean that we can't have separate lives!" The girl turned on her heel and disappeared with a few of the others in tow.

"Whatever," Elvis went back to the game.

"They're twins," Martha smiled. "Elvis and Melody Reven, twenty seven years old, she's a medic, he's a techie... in fact, they're pretty much what you're looking for. Plus they're so unorthodox that you'll love them and there's no way UNIT will hire them."

"But if they argue-"

"They don't," Martha shook her head. "Usually they get on. Elvis is just showing off because he's got a crush on you."

"Me?" Jack looked at her surprised.

"No," Martha laughed. "I just wanted to see that look on your face."

Jack rolled his eyes, shaking his head. Trust Martha.

"And to see you smile," she added as an afterthought.


	8. Love and Lies

As they got onto the bus House knew they were going to have yet another argument. They'd tried to 'talk' but had only ended up pointing out each other's faults and flaws. Wilson sat down on one seat and House chose one on the other side of the bus.

"Can't even bear to sit next to me?" Wilson asked, looking at House hurt.

"No, I just-"

"It's fine," Wilson shrugged. "I just don't understand why you can't be happy with who you are. With who _we_ are."

"I am," House replied, trying to keep his voice low.

"Then why don't you want anyone to find out?" Wilson asked, purposefully making sure that all the people near to them on the bus could hear their conversation. "You are never going to see these people again and you're embarrassed to even let them know."

"It's none of their business," House said.

"It's never going to be anyone's business," Wilson sighed. "But... I can't live like this. If we're going to be together, then we need to do it in the open."

"Practically everyone knows anyway," House dismissed Wilson's words. "I mean we live together."

"Yeah, and I'm starting to think that we're living in a closet," Wilson looked at House sadly.

"Oh snap," House said dryly. "You've got some wit when it comes to our relationship."

"Oh it is a relationship then?" Wilson shook his head. "I think that's the first time you've admitted that."

"Look, I just don't see why we have to be so public about it!" House snapped in an undertone.

"Because, House," Wilson shot back, frown deepening. "I'm not sure I can believe you're serious about us unless we're public."

"Wilson that is completely ridic-"

House didn't finish his sentence though, because at that moment he caught sight of the truck heading towards the side of the bus. He didn't have time to contemplate much before it had slammed into the side of them.

It seemed like everything was going in slow motion. Passengers were thrown from one side to the other and then the bus flipped onto its side, sending everyone crashing down amidst glass and blood.

House cracked his head painfully against the side of the bus and for a moment he couldn't move. But the windows beneath them had shattered and he had to keep himself lifted up to prevent himself from getting dragged along the concrete.

He caught sight of Wilson in the same predicament next to him. Wilson. In that moment he realised that their arguments really _were_ completely ridiculous. He shouldn't have a problem with being public. He shouldn't have a problem with any of it.

House reached out a hand towards Wilson who grabbed it, trying to hold on. But the bus jolted and they were knocked off balance. When it finally came to a stop House collapsed to the floor, unable to hold himself up any longer.

He could hear people crying and screaming, the sound of distant sirens already audible. House closed his eyes for a moment before he heard a sob from beside him.

"H-House..."

_Wilson_. House opened his eyes and sat up, ignoring his pounding headache and the cold trickle of what was probably blood dripping down his face.

"Are you ok?" House asked, crawling over.

Wilson was pale and blood splattered but seemed in fairly good condition considering what had just happened.

"I..." Wilson screwed up his face and shook his head, twisting so House could see the metal pole that had been shoved straight through his leg.

"Hang on..." House crawled over broken glass to retrieve someone's red scarf. He didn't think the owner would miss it if it meant keeping someone else alive. He tied it round Wilson's leg above the pole, making sure it was tight.

"I'm cold..." Wilson whispered sounding terrified.

"Stay with me, ok?" House said, sitting beside him and clutching his head as it began to pound harder.

Everything started to sound like he was hearing it from underwater and the last thing House saw was the front of the bus being pulled off so that the medics could get to them. He closed his eyes and thought no more.

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_After trying and failing to start a family the EBP members decided that Jack and Levlin just weren't compatible and it was doing more harm than good trying to conceive. They thought about changing who carried the baby, but Jack decided that it was better if Levlin didn't go through the pain of losing a child._

_So they returned to the idea of signing up to fight and before they knew it, they were flying in the war. It had taken some convincing on Jack's part to get Levlin to agree. Jack hadn't wanted to go on his own and he was still young and naive enough to believe it would be an adventure._

_Deep down they both knew that they had practically signed their own death certificates, but neither stopped long enough to think about it. The day they crashed behind enemy lines though, everything suddenly became so much more real again._

_Captured and taken to a prisoner of war camp, they should've been detained until the fighting stopped, though Jack doubted it the fight would _ever_ stop. But they weren't. They were handed straight to a 'communications officer'._

_Jack was forced to watch them torture and kill Levlin because he was the weaker of the two of them under interrogation. Jack didn't crack under the pressure, but when Levlin died it took very little to get him to talk. When they had what they needed they let Jack go. _

_That was possibly the hardest part and for a time Jack felt like finishing off the job himself. He'd lost everyone he'd ever loved and he was beginning to think the universe had something against him._

_The only thing that kept him going was the thought that Gray might still be alive. He couldn't leave his little brother with no one. Not when he knew exactly how bad it felt. He had to be there for Gray when Jack found him. If he found him._

~~

Jack awoke in a cold sweat. It was still dark and he guessed he hadn't been asleep long. He wiped his face, a mixture of sweat and tears obscuring his vision. He sighed and turned over, getting the fright of his life when he found Ianto staring back at him.

"Are you ok?" Ianto whispered. "You were crying out in your sleep again."

"Yeah, I'm fine," Jack assured him.

"You're a bad liar Jack," Ianto shook his head. "Did Martha find out what was wrong?"

"No..." Jack hesitated. "She said that I'm probably just reacting badly to the stress..."

Ianto knew full well Jack was lying but he didn't push the matter. This was what made Jack feel worse. Gwen's interrogating was easy to ignore, but when Ianto waited for the answers, they usually came without protest.

"Martha found... she found a growth..." Jack said.

"But... you don't get sick..." Ianto said worriedly, shifting in the sleeping bag.

"I know... and it's nothing to worry about," Jack said. "She's given me some meds and it will disappear in a month or two. A bit like a bigger version of gall stones, you've just got to put up with me being sick for a bit longer."

Ianto still didn't look convinced but he nodded. They lay watching each other for a few minutes in silence before Ianto reached out and stroked his hand across Jack's cheek.

"Just promise me that you'll let me know if it gets any worse," he said.


	9. Memories

House blinked his eyes open and glanced around. He was lying in a hospital bed. Sitting up groggily he tried to remember why he was here. When no memory offered itself he threw back the sheets and got out of bed, dragging the IV drip with him. He grabbed his cane and limped out of the room and along the corridors.

He was heading for Cuddy's office, maybe she could tell him what had happened. On the way he paced the ICU and stopped. It was excessively full for this time of night. House wandered in looking round slightly confused.

"What are you doing here?" Cameron asked barging past as she went to attend to another patient. "You should be resting."

"What happened?" House asked looking at all the patients.

"Bus crash," Cameron frowned at him. "Don't you remember?"

"How would I..?" House trailed off, flashes of the crash returning to him. "Was... was I on that bus?"

"Yeah," Cameron nodded as she finished stitching up a woman's arm. "You fractured your skull."

"Why was I..." House frowned looking distant as he tried to remember what had happened. But the more he tried to remember the more his head hurt.

His heart however started hammering. He didn't know why but someone on the bus was in danger and he needed to find them. He scanned the ICU and then turned back to Cameron.

"This isn't everyone," he said.

"Some of the victims were taken to Princeton General," Cameron moved House to one side as she passed. "I'm kinda busy House. You should go back to your room and try to get some rest."

House walked the length of the ICU, passing members of his team, old and new, as he went. It seemed just about everyone was helping out with the sudden rush.

"Hey... where are Cuddy and Wilson?" House asked, noticing those two were missing.

"Cuddy's busy sorting out the paperwork for this lot," Thirteen replied as she rushed past.

"No one's been able to get hold of Wilson," Chase added. "He wasn't at home when Cuddy phoned."

House phoned slightly. If Wilson wasn't here and wasn't at home then where was he? Hose almost ran straight into Kutner as his mind worked nineteen to the dozen.

"Careful," Kutner steadied House as he wobbled.

"Come on, I'm taking you back to your room," Taub said appearing beside him and wrapping an arm round his waist.

"No... I need... there was someone on the bus who..." House frowned trying desperately to remember.

"House," Foreman was in front of him now. "You're not well."

"Never mind me!" House said, pushing his team away.

He suddenly froze. Memories of what happened flooding back to him. He remembered being in the bar and... calling Wilson. He and Wilson had talked... no they'd argued and then they'd...

"Wilson..."

"What?" Foreman asked watching House with some concern as he swayed.

"I think Wilson was on the bus..." He said.

"You think?" Foreman gently began guiding House towards a chair and sat him down.

"I... I remember being at the bus stop with him..." House replied. "I don't..."

Flashes of screaming passengers, blood and glass flying past him, the pain as he cracked his head against the side of the bus but through it all he couldn't make out any faces. Their voices sounded like he was hearing them from underwater. He didn't realise he'd collapsed until everything went black.

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Jack and Ianto were sat in the observation room, watching as the team of medic trainees conducted an alien autopsy. Martha had said this would be the best way to single out those who were ideal for Torchwood, but Jack was pretty sure he already knew who he was going to hire.

Melody Reven was inquisitive and had a different way of looking at things. The best thing about her though in Jack's opinion was that she was pissing off the UNIT officials and didn't seem to care. Clearly she held UNIT in disdain.

"She's good," Ianto said. "Is she the one?"

"No!" Jack said. "You know _you're_ the one Ianto!"

"Oh ha ha," Ianto rolled his eyes. "You know what I mean."

"I dunno," Jack shrugged. "I think she's probably the best, but..."

"Jack, we've got to hire someone sooner or later," Ianto said gently.

"Yeah, I know..." Jack nodded. "She's more than qualified she's just-"

"Not Owen?" Ianto reached out and squeezed Jack's hand gently.

"Yeah, exactly," Jack replied.

"Had your eye on any techie's?" Ianto asked after a moment.

"Well, Melody's brother Elvis is good," Jack said. "Perhaps not as good as he could be, and nowhere near as good as Tosh, but I think he's our best bet."

Ianto turned his gaze back to the medics conducting the autopsy. Seemed that they'd found their two new team mates. Martha came and joined them after a while, watching the training for a moment.

"Jack, I was wondering if I could see you in the med bay?" She asked. "I just need to do a few more tests to get you on the best medication."

Jack could tell from her tone of voice that she didn't like lying to Ianto, but as a doctor she had to agree to keep it private. He shot Ianto a quick smile before following Martha out into the corridor.

"I want to get another ultrasound of the baby," Martha said.

"Foetus," Jack corrected. Thinking of it as a baby would only make it hurt more when he lost it.

"Is that ok?" Martha asked, ignoring Jack's comment.

"Yeah..." Jack sighed.

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House opened his eyes and found himself back in bed. Growling in frustration he tried to sit up and found he was tied to the bed. He looked at the bonds in annoyance. This must be Cuddy's idea, only she could think this to be good.

"We need you to stay in bed," talk of the devil. Cuddy was stood in the doorway watching him.

"I need to talk with the passengers on the bus," House replied, struggling against the bonds.

"House why-"

"Because I think Wilson was with me," House said shooting Cuddy a pleading look. "I need to find him."

Cuddy hesitated for a moment, but then she came to the conclusion that House could be using Wilson as an excuse to get free.

"Please," House begged. "If he's hurt or..."

"I will ring Princeton General and see if he's been taken there," Cuddy compromised. "But you are going to stay here and rest. Understood?"

"Thank you," House said nodding.

As Cuddy disappeared House closed his eyes thinking. More flashes of screaming passengers and blood and glass. Then he saw something that made his blood run cold. Wilson _had_ been on the bus. He remembered tying the red scarf around the Oncologists leg. That was the last thing he did before he woke up in the hospital.

House opened his eyes and glanced towards the door. He prayed that Cuddy would return with news that Wilson was safe and recovering at Princeton General.


	10. Pain and Anger

House couldn't breathe as he was led down the hospital corridor. Despite protests from Cuddy and his team members he had refused to stay in bed once he knew where Wilson was.

As the doctor's led him towards Wilson's room, Cuddy watched him anxiously. Unable to dissuade him from coming, the Dean of medicine had insisted she accompany him.

As soon as House set eyes on Wilson he knew things weren't good. The elevated BP and the fact they'd had to intubate to keep him breathing were some indications of that.

"Wilson..." House dropped his cane and practically ran across the room, grasping the other man's hand. "Oh god..."

"We've managed to stabilise his condition but unless we get his BP lower the chances are-"

"We have to transfer him back to Princeton Teaching Hospital," House said, cutting across the attending.

"You can't move him," the medic frowned at House as though he were mad. "Not unless you are a family member."

"She's his wife," House nodded at Cuddy.

"We'll take him from here," Cuddy assured the doctor, ushering him from the room for a moment so she could talk to House alone.

"House, what on earth-"

"Cuddy, please," House begged. "I need him somewhere I can... somewhere I can..."

House let go of Wilson's hand and covered his face with his own hands as sobs racked through his body. Cuddy softened and walked round the bed to pull House into a hug.

"We'll take him back to Princeton," she said quietly, rubbing House's back.

"I'm sorry..." House said weakly. "I just... I can't lose him..."

"I know," Cuddy replied, pulling back to look at House.

"No... you don't understand..." House glanced at Wilson. "I literally cannot lose him... we... we had an argument... about our relationship-"

"Well all friends argue House," Cuddy replied. "You and Wilson more than most."

"No, you don't get it," House said. "We're not friends anymore... we're... we're together..."

Cuddy nodded, not quite meeting House's gaze. She turned to look at Wilson, so helpless and pale as he lay in the bed.

"I know," she said quietly. "Wilson told me about a week ago after he found out that you told Hadley."

She looked back at House and when she caught his puzzled look she sighed and rolled her eyes.

"Thirteen."

"Oh..."

"He'll be ok," Cuddy continued. "You've both been through worse than this."

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On their last evening before heading home Martha pulled Jack to one side again and took him through to the med room he'd been in and out of several times over the past few days.

"Jack, I just want you to look at something ok?" Martha pulled out a file that Jack had learned was his entire medical history.

Somehow Martha had gathered it from various places. She pulled out a photo and handed it to Jack. Jack took it and as soon as he realised what it was he handed it straight back.

"I don't want it," Jack said.

"Jack, just look at the ultrasound," Martha pleaded. "Please."

"No, there's no point," Jack shook his head. "The foetus will die soon anyway."

"It might not Jack," Martha replied. "You're in a different century now, you can't die, there are any number of factors that could potentially change the outcome of your baby."

"_Foetus_," Jack said firmly.

"And you really should tell Ianto," Martha looked down at the ultrasound picture in her hands. "Even if the baby dies, or you decide you don't want to keep it or whatever, Ianto still deserves to know and he could help you through it either way."

"No," Jack shook his head. "After everything that's happened I don't want to pile any extra pressure and upset on him."

"Jack," Martha stood up and wandered over to the bed, sitting down again beside him. She held out the ultrasound photo. "Just think about it ok?"

Jack took it reluctantly and glanced down at the scan. He sighed sadly as he took in the shape of a tiny baby. How could he tell Ianto about something so perfect only to have it ripped away from both of them?

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As soon as they were back at Princeton Plainsboro Teaching Hospital House gathered every member of his team, old and new and got them all together in the board room. Something was causing Wilson's high BP and on the way over he'd developed a fever.

"Infection," Cameron said.

"Great... that narrows it down to infinity," House snapped. "I need ideas people."

"It's kinda hard to think when you keep shouting at us," Kutner replied.

"You don't have time to think, I need ideas _now_," House winced slightly and rubbed his forehead as another stab of pain shot through him.

"House, maybe you should rest," Foreman suggested lightly.

"I'll rest when I know Wilson is ok," House stumbled a little and Thirteen and Cameron stood up to help him. "Get off, I'm fine."

"House, you should really go and rest," Chase said firmly.

"I'm not the one who's dying!" House shouted. "Can you all forget about me and perhaps think about Wilson?"

"I don't think this is a good idea either," Taub agreed. "You know Wilson too well. Someone else should be his attending."

"No!" House took a deep breath trying to calm himself down. He was no use to Wilson if he got all emotional. "No. Look. I know you guys. I trust you and I know how good you all are. If it were me that was unconscious, I'd want you guys treating me. Just... please... help me."

The six of them seemed to glance between each other. Foreman picked up the marker pen, looked at the symptoms already on the board and then turned to House.

"Can you get hold of Wilson's medical history?" He asked.

"Yes... yes..." House nodded gratefully.

"Could be something common," Cameron said. "There's nothing to suggest it's a zebra."

"So what can cause infection causes fever and low BP?" Foreman looked round at them. "I know there's a lot, just list them."

Cameron and Chase grabbed a marker pen each and began marking down all the infections they could think of. Kutner began making coffee for everyone. It was four in the morning and he didn't doubt they'd all need the caffeine.

"Might not be infection," Thirteen said. "Low blood pressure could indicate internal bleeding. The fever could just be coincidence."

House watched his team working and for once he knew he'd made the right choices, five years ago when he'd hired Cameron Chase and Foreman and nearly a year ago when he'd decided that Thirteen, Kutner and Taub were his three new fellows.

All this information didn't help the pain in his head though and he was only vaguely aware of the shouts and cries of concern from his team as he once more collapsed to the floor.


	11. Out Of Control

_After Jack met up with Rose and the Doctor and was left on the game station in the year 200,100 he attempted to 'bounce' back to the 21st century. He missed by a hundred and thirty one years but when he discovered he was immortal it didn't really matter._

_In the time between 1869 and the millennium Jack had many lovers. Many people for whom he cared more than was wise. He knew he would outlive them and there were some he saw die before their time, but none hurt as much as one man in particular._

_In 1953 Jack got wind of the Doctor in London. He was still technically working for Torchwood, but since he had finished serving in the Second World War he had taken less and less jobs. So when news of the Doctor reached him Jack went to London in case it was one that fitted with his time line, but he didn't get there in time._

_Jack hung around for ten years hoping the Doctor might return but he didn't. In the end Jack decided he might be better off heading back to Cardiff. On his last night in London he went into a bar. He wasn't trying to meet anyone but he got talking to a sandy brown haired man called Tommy._

_He claimed that when he was fourteen he'd helped saved the world. When Jack asked about it Tommy had dismissed it as a figure of speech but after a couple of drinks and convincing Tommy that he could trust Jack, the man let it slip that he had helped the Doctor defeat something called 'The Wire'._

_When Jack explained that he knew the Doctor too and told Tommy about all the adventures he'd had one thing led to another and before either knew what they were doing they were in a secret relationship. _

_They were careful, Jack was always careful, but somehow he ended up pregnant again. He didn't tell Tommy. After all, it was hard enough on the poor man being gay in the sixties throwing on top the fact that Jack was a time traveller with the ability to carry children would be too much. Besides Jack knew he would lose the baby long before he'd have to worry about explaining it._

_It wouldn't have mattered even if the baby had survived. On the third of November 1968 Tommy Connolly was beaten to death by three men. Jack never found out who they were but he was pretty sure they knew Tommy was gay and that was why they had killed him._

_As soon as Jack heard the news he locked himself in what had been their house and cried. It never got any easier to lose someone, but for Tommy to be killed because of his sexuality... a sexuality that may never have come out if Tommy hadn't met Jack..._

_Jack couldn't cope. He went straight back to Cardiff and threw himself into his work, not even taking a day off when the telltale cramps appeared signalling the loss of his child._

~~

Jack opened his eyes feeling sick and dizzy. He rolled out of bed and headed straight for the bathroom, careful not to wake Ianto as he went. After throwing up painfully again he sat down on the cold floor sobbing.

He couldn't go on like this anymore. He was only just over four months gone and he didn't know how much more of this he could take. Jack wiped his face and stood up heading for the door. He knew what he had to do. He went out into the corridor, walking through the darkness and into the kitchen.

Once there Jack opened the kitchen draw and pulled out a knife, sitting down on the floor with it in his hands. He could do it so easily. If he killed himself then there was no guarantee that the baby would be brought back. But there was still a chance.

Jack thought quickly. If however he cut the child out... severed all links... then he could stop this now. It would just mean killing the child a few weeks early. It wouldn't really be murder.

Jack held the knife, poised over his abdomen. He'd killed himself before, this wouldn't be that different. Just cut and kill.

"Jack..." Ianto's voice interrupted his thoughts.

Jack looked up to see Ianto watching him a look of concern and horror on his face. The knife clattered to the floor and Jack burst into tears again.

"What's wrong?" Ianto asked, dropping to his knees by Jack's side.

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House groaned as he opened his eyes and found himself once more in bed and tied down. He doubted there was any chance of him being allowed up again now. Not until Cuddy was satisfied that he had rested properly anyway.

Sitting up House caught sight of Thirteen who was reading a magazine obviously having been instructed to keep an eye on him.

"How's Wilson?" House croaked.

Thirteen glanced up and, putting down her magazine, poured a glass of water and held it to House's lips. He took a grateful sip and then looked at her.

"You didn't answer my question," House said. "Is he ok?"

"He's..." Thirteen hesitated. "His kidneys are failing. They've put him on dialysis, but we're no closer to figuring out what's wrong."

House closed his eyes for a moment trying to breathe through the pain of his still pounding head. When he opened them again Thirteen was still looking at him with concern.

"I need you to untie me," House said quietly.

"I can't do that House," Thirteen shook her head. "Cuddy's orders; she's going to fire anyone who lets you out of the bed without her consent."

"Then go and get Cuddy," House replied. "I just want to go and see him..."

He looked over at Thirteen pleadingly. She looked like she was going to say no again, but the pain in his voice seemed to have an effect and she nodded, heading out of the room to fetch the Dean of medicine.

The two of them returned less than ten minutes later and both gave House the sad look of concern that only they could. House had to resist the urge to roll his eyes and instead attempted to look weaker in the hopes that he could convince them to let him out of his room.

"Cuddy... please..." House began. "I need to go and see Wilson."

"House, I can't let you up," Cuddy replied. "Your fracture has lengthened since the bus crash and you're in danger of suffering serious damage."

"Thirteen says is kidneys are failing," House sighed. "Let's face it, it's not gonna be lupus. I just need to see him. Five minutes and I'll come straight back afterwards."

Cuddy glanced between House and Thirteen before relenting and untying House's bonds and helping him to stand. House supported himself using his IV drip and followed Cuddy.

"Five minutes only," she said, letting House into Wilson's room.

House walked slowly towards Wilson, taking in the sight of his pale lover. He would give anything to switch places and ensure Wilson was ok. The amount of wires and tubes coming off Wilson reminded him just how hard it was to be on this side of the medicine.

"Cameron and Chase are still bouncing ideas with Foreman," Thirteen said quietly. "And Taub and Kutner are down in the labs running tests. We're still doing what we can for him."

"I know," House replied not looking up. He reached out and took Wilson's hand again. "You'll find the answer."

"House..." Thirteen stood the other side of the bed in an attempt to get House to look at her. "There's a good chance that Wilson won't make it. His blood pressure's through the roof and his heart is probably going to be the next to give out."

"You'll find the answer," House repeated finally meeting her gaze. "I have complete faith in all of you."

"I'm just trying to prepare you for the worst," Thirteen said gently.

"There's no need," House shook his head. "We'll be home before the end of the week."

It was optimistic. Very optimistic. Even if they found out what was wrong with Wilson it could be that he needed a kidney transplant and probably wouldn't be discharged for several weeks.

"House I-"

Thirteen was cut off by the monitors bleeping. House frowned and glanced up at the readings.

"He's going into cardiac arrest," House breathed. "You need to-"

"I know what I need to do," Thirteen said ushering him out as other doctors rushed in. "You need to go and rest."

House doubted he'd ever be able to rest knowing what condition Wilson was in. He stood outside the room, watching through the glass walls as the doctors worked on keeping Wilson alive.


	12. Fight Or Flight

After finding Jack cowering in the kitchen poised to cut himself open Ianto had ordered him back to bed, made them both a drink and then returned himself to sit next to Jack, handing one of the mugs over.

Ianto spent several minutes rubbing Jack's back in an attempt to calm the other man down and when Jack finally did stop crying, he took a deep breath.

"Do you want to tell me what's wrong now?" Ianto asked. Jack glanced at him.

"I can't," he sighed.

"Why not?" Ianto looked at him and Jack felt like crying again.

"Because I don't want you to get hurt," Jack replied.

"I'm a big boy Jack," Ianto said gently. "I'm sure whatever it is I can handle it. Judging by the way you've been acting recently though I don't think you can cope with keeping it to yourself any longer."

"Ianto I..." Jack hated the completely innocent look Ianto gave him. That unbelievably cute, naive and lovable man that Jack just couldn't hurt, but at the same time he couldn't lie to him anymore.

Taking a deep breath Jack started with his life back on the Boeshane Peninsula after his brother had disappeared and went right through to the present day not omitting a single fact. It took several hours' long explanation during which Ianto never spoke a word. By the time Jack finished it was starting to get light.

"Martha... Martha did an ultrasound whilst we were down at the UNIT camp," Jack pulled the crumpled photo out of his trousers which were lying on the floor next to the bed. He handed it to Ianto, trying to gauge the Welshman's reaction as he stared down at the tiny foetus.

"You spent all this time dealing with this on your own?" Ianto asked, looking up at Jack.

"I'm going to lose the baby anyway," Jack shrugged. "I didn't want you to lose it too."

"Oh Jack," Ianto pulled him in for a hug. "You should've told me."

"I know," Jack pulled back enough to look at Ianto. "But even admitting it to myself meant I had to accept that it was real... Since you... we've only had sex twice... I didn't want you to feel like you'd screwed up..."

"Yeah, well..." Ianto looked down at his hands in his lap. "I'm always gonna feel like that."

"You shouldn't," Jack said firmly. "Because you haven't. Ok?"

"Right sorry pair we make," Ianto met Jack's gaze again. "Just promise me that you won't try to self abort again. One crazy person's enough for this relationship."

"You're not crazy," Jack replied.

"Only 'cause I'm on the meds," Ianto pointed out softly. "Promise me Jack."

"I promise," Jack said honestly.

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After getting a few more hours rest Cuddy allowed House to visit Wilson again. She told him that he might be best off saying goodbye, but House refused to believe that his team would let him down when it came to saving Wilson's life.

Things were looking bleak. Wilson's condition continued to deteriorate and he was now not only on dialysis but bypass as well. Even if they found a cure he would need a new kidney and a new heart. Not many people got both.

"I'll find a way," House promised, squeezing Wilson's hand gently. The hand was cold and pale and felt nothing like House remembered but right then it was the only thing keeping him grounded in reality. "I... I'm going to leave... but I will come back ok? I don't care what anybody says I _am_ going to save you."

House got no response, but he was pretty sure Wilson's heart rate would've quickened slightly if it wasn't currently controlled by a machine. Sighing, House reluctantly let go of Wilson's hand and wandered slowly back towards his room.

His cooperation had earned him the trust of Cuddy and he was no longer tied to the bed. House thought this to be rather foolish, but he didn't complain. If he was going to save Wilson he needed to be able to slip away unnoticed.

Working quickly he changed out of the hospital gown he was in and pulled on his clothes. Pocketing his Vicodin bottles and grabbing his cane he headed for the door, checking the coast was clear before darting out.

When Kutner wandered in a few hours later to let House know that Wilson was still getting worse he found the room empty. Frowning slightly, he went to ask the others if they knew where House was.

As soon as Cuddy got wind that House was missing she phoned the police and sent Cameron, Kutner and Taub out to find him. It was raining heavily outside and they doubted House would've got far, especially as he didn't have his bike.

Cuddy remained in her office, pacing up and down occasionally glancing at the phone waiting for any news of her head diagnostician. When the phone finally did ring it made her jump. She ran round her desk and picked it up quickly.

"Hello?" She said breathlessly.

"Tell the kids to get back to the hospital and continue working on Wilson."

It was House. Cuddy frowned slightly. Was she that predictable that he knew she'd have half his team out looking for him?

"House, where are you?" She asked ignoring his order. "What are doing?"

"Tell the kids to keep Wilson stable," House repeated. "I'm going to save him."

There was a click as House hung up. Cuddy sighed in frustration and put the phone down. Where ever he was, she only hoped he was ok. She thought for a moment before picking the phone back up and dialling.

"Cameron? You and the others need to come back."

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Jack watched Ianto hurrying about the flat, trying to tidy up one last time before they left for the Hub. Ianto hadn't mentioned their conversation again and now seemed to be acting like nothing was wrong at all. It was starting to worry Jack a little.

"Right, ok," Ianto stood in the middle of the living room glancing round. "I think... ready?"

He turned to Jack who was sat on the sofa, pale and sick, worried that Ianto was taking the news of his pregnancy almost as badly as the Captain had.

"Yeah," Jack stood up. "Ianto, are you ok?"

"Fine," Ianto smiled. "Come on, we better leave before I find something else to clean."

That was the other thing. Ianto only ever went on bouts of manic cleaning when he was stressed or upset (or both) and since getting up that morning the Welshman had done nothing but dust, mop, hoover and tidy.

Heading out to his car, Ianto seemed more erratic than ever. Jack hadn't seen him act like this since just before he was diagnosed with schizophrenia. Pausing by the driver's side door of the small blue car Jack looked at Ianto for a moment.

"Did you take your pills this morning?" He asked.

"What? Yeah," Ianto looked up at him frowning slightly. "What makes you say that?"

"Just checking," Jack shrugged as they both got in.

"You don't trust me?" Ianto sounded hurt. "Because you're not exactly the best person to judge are you?"

"Ianto, I was only asking because I care," Jack replied, sounding just as hurt that Ianto could think he wasn't trusted.

"Yeah... I know..." Ianto sighed, glancing at Jack. "Sorry."

"Are you sure you're ok?" Jack asked as he started the car and set off for the Hub.

"Yes," Ianto said firmly. "Just tired and irritable, nothing personal honest."

Jack smiled slightly and they lapsed into silence, not speaking again until they reached the Hub. Gwen was waiting on the decking outside the tourist information centre for them, holding coffee from Starbucks in a cardboard holder.

"Hey," she said as they approached. "Did you find anyone?"

Ianto took one look at the processed coffee in her hands and stormed straight past her into the Hub. Jack sighed and shot her an apologetic look.

"He's not had the best weekend," he replied gently. "Probably not the best idea to greet him with that coffee."


	13. Lost

After being briefed about the training weekend and the two UNIT trainees' they'd decided on, Jack got Gwen to wait on the Plass for Melody and Elvis to arrive. Watching her leave, Jack made his way slowly towards the archives where he knew Ianto was hiding.

Wandering steadily along the crowded isle's he managed to find Ianto sat in the small section he'd changed into a memorial for past Torchwood employees. They'd only lost three since Ianto had been there, but Jack found it incredibly endearing that the man who never let his grief show would do something like this.

Jack sat carefully beside Ianto, taking his hand and rubbing it gently between his own two. Ianto sighed slightly, glancing for a moment at the pictures and candles he'd arranged before looking at Jack.

"Was Gwen really upset?" He asked quietly.

"No," Jack shook his head. "She understood."

"What did you tell her?" Ianto shifted, so he was leaning against Jack instead of the wall.

"Just that the stress of... of the past few weeks had taken its toll on both of us," Jack rested his cheek against the top of Ianto's head. "That we hadn't slept very well so we're both shattered."

"You didn't mention..." Ianto trailed off, almost unable to bring himself to say it.

"No," Jack replied. "There's no point. She'll only fuss and become overbearing. Then she'd be even worse when..."

Ianto sat up and looked at Jack sadly.

"There's still a chance Jack," he said softly.

"No, there isn't," Jack shook his head. He stood up and held out a hand to Ianto, helping the other man to his feet. "Come on, we better be ready for the others when they arrive."

Ianto allowed Jack to lead him up to the main part of the Hub. Tosh and Owen's desks looked bare now that everything was cleared away. In a few hours it would be cluttered with the nick-knacks of two very different people.

"I'm going to have to learn what their drinking preferences are," Ianto said suddenly, staring at the desks.

Jack turned to look at him, surprised and amused by the comment. It was not something he'd considered before, but it was a thought that seemed to torture Ianto.

"It won't take you long will it?" Jack asked.

"Well... no..." Ianto scuffed his feet. "But it'll take me a long time to make a brew that's drinkable."

"I'm sure it'll be fine," Jack gave him a quick kiss.

"You've warned them that I'm saving the world with half an insane brain then?" Ianto smiled wryly.

"Well I didn't quite put it like that," Jack pretended to consider as he headed towards his office. "But yeah, they know."

Ianto followed Jack into the familiar office. He looked around, his eyes catching the floor that only a few months ago had been covered in his blood. Jack had had to do the clean up job that time and Ianto had been pleased to say he'd done well.

He was startled out of his reverie by the sound of chatting as three people came down on the invisible lift. Heading back out into the main part of the Hub, Ianto glanced up to see Gwen with Melody and Elvis.

They stepped off the lift looking around and taking in the vast Hub. Ianto smiled shyly at them as Gwen introduced them, leaving Ianto free to remain silent. He preferred it that way.

Jack appeared behind Ianto, holding his hand out to Melody and Elvis in turn, trying to gently take control off Gwen.

"Ignore everything he tells you," Melody whispered quietly to Ianto, nodding towards her brother. "It's all lies."

"Nothing like sibling rivalry eh?" Ianto joked weakly.

"And this is nothing like sibling rivalry," Melody grinned. "This is war."

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The first few days at the Hub were tough. Melody and Elvis seemed to fit into the team perfectly; they got along fine with each other (most of the time) and with Gwen and Jack could see that though they would change the dynamic, they would all still work well as a whole.

The one thing Jack did notice however was that Ianto seemed to remain outside the group. He would bring the team their drinks and each of them would thank him but it wasn't the Ianto that Jack knew. It was the Ianto who'd been there when he first joined. The Ianto who kept himself to himself and had his cyber girlfriend locked up in the basement.

It wasn't that Jack suspected Ianto of hiding anything; the Captain was just worried that Ianto was slowly isolating himself. What's more, the usual post it notes that were normally stuck to Ianto's files and left on his desk were no longer arriving. Jack was still getting the paperwork, but nothing in the way of little messages.

He decided to approach Ianto about it three days after Melody and Elvis first joined. Whilst Gwen and Elvis were out looking for a Weevil and Melody was down in the autopsy bay pouring over all Owen's old notes to catch up on what was known, Jack headed down to the archives to find Ianto.

"Hiding?" Jack asked as he located Ianto who was wandering up and down the isle's marking things on a clipboard.

"No... I'm trying to explain the archiving system in as simple terms as possible," Ianto replied, glancing down at his clipboard. "Owen never bothered to learn. He liked to just stick things in random places and sniggering when I found them months later. But I thought Melody and Elvis might like to know how it works even if they don't follow it."

"I'm sure they'll at least try," Jack smiled.

"Yes, I know you're all hopeless when it comes to this," Ianto nodded. "What will you ever do without me?"

"Well I hope that we won't have to consider that for a long time," Jack took another step forward. "Ianto, I actually came to talk to you about-"

"Oh and I've written up a shopping list," Ianto interrupted. "We need some cleaning stuff, meat and spices so I can feed Myfanwy and Melody will have to learn how to mix the Weevil spray solution because we're running low."

"Ok," Jack said. "Ianto, listen-"

"Do..." Ianto paused. "Do we have to talk about this now?"

"I only want to know why you've-"

"Because they're new Jack," Ianto sighed slightly. "Look, they need to at least settle in before we let them know that you and I are together. I mean, they're perfectly nice, but if we tell them about us now then I'm going to get all the grief of 'ooh, you're getting paid more because you're shagging the boss' and I really don't want to have to think about that right now. Ok?"

Jack was slightly taken aback. Not only by what Ianto had said, but by the fact that he'd said all of it in one breath.

"Yeah... ok..." Jack said finally. Well that explained at least why Ianto had stopped sending him little notes, though Jack was slightly hurt that Ianto hadn't trusted him to be discrete about it. "So... why are you so quiet? You don't seem to have said two words to them since they started..."

"I just..." Ianto ran a hand through his hair. "I'm just a bit... all over the place..."

Jack stood right in front of Ianto now, looking at him worriedly.

"If we get talking, then I'm going to have to explain the scars and the schizophrenia and the mashed brain and I really don't want to have to go there right now," Ianto looked up and met Jack's gaze.

"Come on," Jack took Ianto's hand and pulled the other man up towards the main part of the Hub.

"Jack," Ianto frowned slightly. "Where are we going?"

"There's only Melody in the Hub," Jack glanced back at Ianto raising his eyebrows slightly. "She wouldn't notice if we disappeared into my back room."

"Jack, no," Ianto groaned. "You know I can't. I'm even worse under pressure."

"Like I was gonna suggest that," Jack rolled his eyes. "I do have some decorum Ianto. I just thought we could hide back there for an hour or so. Talk or... or just sit... just be together..."

No sooner had they reached the main part of the Hub however than the cog wheel door opened and Gwen and Elvis wandered in, talking hurriedly. They were dripping wet and clearly hadn't caught the Weevil, but they hurried towards Jack. Jack couldn't help but wish they'd dried off a little. They were dripping muddy water everywhere and he could see out of the corner of his eyes it was driving Ianto up the wall.

"Jack, we've got a problem," Gwen began.

"There's this guy, said he knew you," Elvis added. "We had to let him in. He wouldn't take no for an answer."

"Jack it's-"

"Jack Harkness! I saved your boyfriend, now you have to return the favour!"

A very dishevelled looking, soaking wet and pale Doctor House stood in the cog wheel door way, looking like he'd swam all the way from Princeton.


	14. Anxiety

Melody turned out to be very much an Owen style doctor when it came to her bedside manner. Playful and cheeky when there was no work, but serious and focussed when the job required it. As soon as she'd caught sight of House, she'd ordered him out of his wet clothes, thrown a towel and dry clothes at him and was now currently fussing, taking his temperature.

"I'm fine," House mumbled round the thermometer. "I'm a Doctor too."

"I don't care," Melody said, pushing her glasses up her nose as she examined House. "You can't be your own attending."

Ianto appeared quietly and handed a coffee to House so he could warm his hands. Melody pulled the blanket over House's shoulders tighter and he wriggled in protest. House kept his eyes on Ianto though and as the other man made to slip away he called out.

"Back at work then?" Ianto paused on the steps that lead up and out of the autopsy bay.

"Yeah," he said quietly, not meeting House's gaze.

"Sane again?" House noticed the wince from Ianto and the confused look from Melody. Evidently they hadn't informed this new medic of his mental illness.

"Yes," Ianto growled through gritted teeth, hurrying off.

"Why are you here?" Jack asked, appearing at the top of the stairs, frowning slightly as Ianto rushed past.

"I've told you," House replied. "I need you to save Wilson. All this alien tech, you must have something that can help him."

"Go through the details with Melody and I'll check to see if Ianto's got anything in the archives," Jack said lying smoothly.

As House turned back to Melody to tell her everything that had happened Jack went in search of Ianto who he found cowering in the archives once more.

"You ok?" Jack asked approaching Ianto.

"No," Ianto said in a strained voice. "Why did he have to turn up now? With Tosh and Owen... and you... and me... and..."

Jack could tell by the tone of Ianto's voice that he was becoming more and more distressed. He wanted to reach out and pull the other man in for a hug, but Jack knew better than to approach Ianto when he was like this. The meds might make him normal again, but they didn't stop the stress induced outbursts, though the last one had been when Tosh and Owen died over four months previously.

"Ianto, come and sit in my office," Jack said gently.

"No! I don't want to..." Ianto snapped.

"Uhh... sorry..." Jack turned to see Elvis, glasses perched on the end of his nose. "I just... I came to archive this."

He held up one of the many pieces of tech he'd been examining. He glanced between Jack and Ianto, a mixture of curiosity and concern on his face.

"Now's not a good time," Jack said gently.

"Yeah... I'll come back later," Elvis flustered a little and went to head back upstairs.

"You might as well tell him Jack," Ianto said in a strained voice stepping back and forward, unable to stay still. "His sister already knows I'm mad."

"What're you-?" Elvis frowned slightly.

"I'm schizophrenic," Ianto threw his arms up in the air. "Completely insane."

"Ianto," Jack said firmly.

"They're going to ask eventually Jack," Ianto sighed, running his hands through his hair.

"Do you want me to fetch Mel?" Elvis asked Jack quietly.

"No, he'll be fine," Jack patted Elvis on the arm. "I'll deal with him."

"Oh you'll deal with me?" Ianto asked, hugging his arms to himself as he watched Elvis go.

"Ianto, calm down," Jack said firmly.

"I'm not your fucking patient Jack," Ianto glared at him. "Stop bloody patronising me."

"Did you take your meds this morning?" Jack continued after a moment.

"No, I'm a retard remember?" Ianto shot back sarcastically. "Course I remembered."

"Sorry..." Jack sighed. "Please Ianto... don't do this. You're only making yourself worse..."

"I am not!" Ianto looked like he was going to start pulling his hair out in annoyance.

"You're making me feel worse," Jack said quietly. It was true. Not only did his heart ache seeing just how stressed Ianto was, but he also felt sick again. "I need you."

Ianto seemed to falter, looking at Jack worriedly, concern for the Captain suddenly outweighing his anxiety. He took a hesitant step towards his partner and Jack kept still, waiting for Ianto to come to him.

"I... I'm sorry..." Ianto said finally, standing in front of Jack.

"It's fine," Jack said gently. "Are you ok?"

"Yeah... I'm just... I'm just not coping..." Ianto rubbed his face with his hands before pulling Jack into a hug. "Are you alright?"

"Just feeling a bit sick," Jack hugged Ianto tightly, breathing in the Welshman's scent.

"I wish I could help Jack," Ianto said sadly his mind still racing.

"You do help," Jack pulled back far enough to look at Ianto. "Just by being here."

"Yeah, insane retard, I'm sure I'm amazing support," Ianto rolled his eyes.

"Ianto-"

"What?" Ianto smiled slightly. "Makes a change from Tea-Boy."

Jack kissed him softly and took his hand.

"Come on," he said. "We better go and see what House wants."

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

After lengthy talks about the accident and filling House in on who the new staff were and why they had joined, Jack, Ianto and House had all adjourned to Jack's office to discuss matters in more detail.

"Look, I saved Ianto's life," House began. "You owe me."

"That's all well and good, but I don't know how," Jack said calmly. He was keeping a close eye on Ianto.

After their encounter in the archives Jack had ordered that Ianto take some time out in the Captains office. However after the way House was attempting to persuade them to help, Jack suspected it might have been better to leave Ianto with his coffee machine. The raised voices and tension in air had left Ianto sitting bolt upright, shifting uncomfortably.

"You have so much alien tech here," House gestured aimlessly. "You were boasting about it constantly once you deigned to tell me that the eggs inside your boyfriend were alien eggs."

"Look, House," Jack hesitated. "I can have a look, but we don't really have anything to combat something this severe. Trust me... I'd have lost a lot less team members if we did."

"Please," House begged. "I need something. I can't lose him."

Jack nodded. He knew only too well what it felt like to be this close to losing your partner. He didn't know what he'd have done if all those months ago Ianto had died.

"I'll talk to Melody and Elvis, and Ianto and I will root through the archives and we'll see what we can come up with," Jack said finally.

"Thank you," House sighed with relief shooting Jack a grateful look.

"Jack," Ianto stood up suddenly. "We should tell him."

"Tell him..." Jack shook his head. "No, Ianto."

"Tell me what?" House asked.

"We'll help you save Wilson," Ianto said ignoring Jack's pleading looks. "If you help us save our baby."


	15. Storms Brewing

Melody agreed to look after House and stay with him in the Hub through the night. Elvis decided to stay with his sister and finishing archiving the pieces of tech that he'd been unable to take down earlier due to Ianto.

Jack had remained completely silent after the conversation with House. Ianto had been a little unnerved by the lack of noise, but he didn't think much of it. It was only as he climbed into the passenger seat of the car that he realised that Jack was mad with him.

"Jack?" Ianto said softly.

Jack didn't say anything, but Ianto knew he was listening. The way Jack's hands tightened slightly on the steering wheel was an indication of that.

"If House can help-"

"He can't," Jack said. "I don't know why you bought it up with him."

"I just thought that maybe-"

"You shouldn't have told him Ianto," Jack sounded hurt and annoyed. "He's going to spend the little time he has in this country thinking of ways to save something that just can't be saved."

"I'm sorry, Jack," Ianto replied quietly.

"Yeah I know," Jack sighed.

They lapsed into silence and didn't talk again until Jack let them into the flat. Ianto toyed with the notion of making a cup of coffee but he wasn't in the mood to strain his mind enough to remember how.

Jack collapsed onto the sofa, pulling his feet off the floor and curling up. Ianto bit his lip watching his partner sadly. He wished there was something he could do to make Jack feel better, it was horrible seeing him so depressed. Ianto sat beside Jack, pulling the other man's feet onto his lap, rubbing them gently.

"I shouldn't have told him," Ianto said finally. "Sorry... I... I didn't even think about what I was saying."

"It's fine," Jack shrugged slightly.

"I... " Ianto hesitated. "I don't even know if bringing a child up would be a good idea. Not with my... problems..."

Jack glanced at him, frowning ever so slightly.

"So you don't want House to save it?" He asked.

"No... I didn't mean that," Ianto shook his head.

"You can't do this Ianto," Jack pulled his feet off Ianto's lap and sitting up. "You can't ask House to save... and then decide that you don't want it..."

"I didn't say that!" Ianto protested.

"I'm always looking after you Ianto," Jack stood up. "I know it's not your fault... but sometimes I need looking after for a change."

"Jack-"

"No, look..." Jack ran a hand through his hair. "It's fine. I know you didn't mean it. I just... I need time to think..."

"Jack wait!" Ianto said standing up as Jack disappeared through their front door.

Ianto sat back down on the sofa curling up where Jack had been mere seconds before and tried hard not to cry.

~~

_August 19th 1981_

_Ella, Jenny and Frances were sat on blue chairs swinging their legs in a hospital waiting room. They'd been sat there for hours, their grandmother sat beside them knitting a baby blanket. _

_It was utterly boring waiting for a baby to be born. The months when their younger sibling had been inside their mother had been alright for the three girls, but they'd already been in the waiting room for four hours._

_After what seemed like an age, their Tad burst through the doors at the end of the corridor, grinning from ear to ear._

_"It's a boy!" He said._

_Ella, Jenny and Frances jumped up and followed their Tad through into their mother's room._

_Eve Jones was sat up in bed holding a small bundle in her arms. She smiled at her three daughters and beckoned them closer so they could see their baby brother. He was tiny and pink and perfect._

_This was the story Ianto had heard many a time about his birth. It sounded so perfect and idyllic. It wasn't the same at Gavin's birth._

_February 4th 1984_

_His mother had been looking ill for days and it was only after she had been hospitalized that Ianto's Tad explained there was something wrong. He sat down all four children and told them that the baby was making their mother ill and that she might be in hospital for a while. _

_He was only two and a half at the time but Ianto remembered everything clearly. He remembered the last time he saw his mother as they went to say goodbye before she had a caesarean._

_Ianto never blamed Gavin, but maybe that was partly due to the fact that at two and half he didn't really understand that it was his brother's birth that had killed their mother._

_Growing up was still ok, even without a mother there. Ella, Jenny and Frances all babied their younger brothers and Ianto revelled in looking after Gavin. They worked as a family and even their Tad was happy and unstressed most of the time._

_But things started to change when Ella went off to university. Without their eldest sister, the others seemed to lose focus and very suddenly things started going downhill._

_Their Tad worked later and later, Jenny became more and more irritable as she was left to look after the others, Frances retreated into herself and Ianto was left caring for Gavin alone._

_The next time any of them saw Ella was at Frances' funeral. She killed herself less than four months after Ella left. From the note left behind it seemed that Frances had been suffering from the hands of some very nasty people at her sixth form and she simply couldn't cope anymore._

_Ianto should've spotted the warning signs then. He knew Gavin wasn't entirely well and Frances' death pushed him over the edge. _

_Ianto lost two siblings in the space of less than six months. He and Jenny clung to each other after that like they were the only things keeping themselves rooted in reality._

~~

Ianto only realised he'd fallen asleep when he heard the door bang as Jack came home again. Sitting up he rubbed his eyes and glanced up as Jack stumbled into the living room. He caught sight of Ianto and frowned slightly.

"Have you been there since I left?" He asked, sitting down beside Ianto in the dark.

"Yeah," Ianto nodded. "I... I fell asleep..."

"I shouldn't have stormed out earlier," Jack began, resting a hand over Ianto's.

"No, it's fine," Ianto smiled weakly.

"No it's not," Jack shook his head. "I just... I didn't want to get my hopes up and I didn't want you getting yours up by asking House to help."

"I know," Ianto squeezed Jack's hand gently.

"I shouldn't have snapped," Jack continued. "You were only trying to help. I just... I don't want you to have to suffer what I did every time I lost..."

He trailed off unable to finish and Ianto pulled him in for a hug, gently stroking the hair in the nape of Jack neck. Jack sighed slightly and Ianto rested his forehead against the other man's.

"Come on," Ianto said after a moment standing up. He pulled Jack to his feet kissing him softly. "I think we could both use some TLC."

"Really?" Jack asked hopefully.

"Yeah," Ianto nodded, smiling slightly and pulling Jack towards the bedroom.


	16. The Beginning Of The End

House didn't like the Hub all that much. It was dark (well, ok, it was light earlier, but they'd turned off the lights now), it was underground and he could smell the salty tang of the bay.

He missed Wilson. It had only been just over two days since he'd seen the other man but House already ached all over. Melody had assured him that he'd be feeling run down due to the cold and limping as fast as he could all the way from the airport.

House now lay on the couch in the main part of the Hub, his cane on the floor beside him, staring up at the ceiling. After the conversation with Jack and Ianto, House had discussed with Melody the idea of saving Jack's baby.

It had been quite a surreal talk. A man being able to get pregnant in the twenty first century was a little unusual, but not unheard of. Of course he knew Jack had never been a female, but once the medical ins and outs had been explained it was quite easy to understand really.

Without his team, House had used Melody to discuss ideas of what might cause Jack to lose the foetus and what could be done to stop it. They'd had a few breakthroughs but until they could run a few tests on Jack nothing could be confirmed.

So for now House had been ordered to rest and to try and sleep, though he doubted he'd be able to whilst he was worrying about Wilson. He toyed with the idea of ringing Princeton, but if he did they might tell him that things had gone wrong and while he didn't know, he could pretend everything was ok.

There were strange noises coming from the basement of the Hub. Moans and whimpers of what sounded like an injured animal. Melody passed him at one point and he grabbed her wrist.

"Is someone down there hurt?" He asked quietly.

"No," she shook her head. "It's... it's an alien. We call them Weevils."

House blinked, wide eyed for a moment, before gaining his composure and nodding.

"Do you want to come and see?" Melody bent down beside House.

"Ok," he said sitting up.

She led House down to the basement, the harsh light of the corridors almost blinding him as they wandered down to one of the cells at the end. The Weevil threw itself at the plastic door and made House jump.

"It's ok," Melody said gently. "It's not too good at communicating so we're not sure what their real names are, or where they come from."

"But... it's an alien?" House took a step forward, so he was almost touching the thick plastic of the door.

"Yup," Melody smiled slightly.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Ianto lay staring at the dark ceiling of his bedroom. Jack was beside him, hand slowly rubbing circles across Ianto's chest. Their clothes were strewn everywhere and Ianto knew at some point he'd be up, folding them all.

"You ok?" Jack whispered after a while.

"Yeah," Ianto nodded. "Just thinking."

He turned towards Jack, shifting closer. Jack kissed him softly wrapping his arm round Ianto's waist. This was the closest to happy he'd been in several very long months.

"What about?" Jack said when they had settled into a comfortable position.

"Nothing in particular," Ianto shrugged. "Just about when I was growing up... when I first joined Torchwood..."

"You've never really mentioned your childhood," Jack noted, wondering if Ianto would tell him anything now.

"No... well..." Ianto glanced down. "You know what losing a family's like..."

"Yeah..." Jack sighed.

"I... I had four siblings once," he began. "And a Mum and Tad."

"Tell me about them," Jack said pulling Ianto close.

~~

_Down to three siblings Ianto felt more alone than ever. When Jenny left to head off to Uni Ianto was alone in the house. His Tad spent more and more time at work until it got to the point where Ianto might as well have been living on his own._

_Maybe that was why he decided to go to Uni in London. It was there that he first heard about Torchwood. Weevils running about London one night and the next week Ianto found himself working as a junior archiving assistant._

_He met Lisa, they started dating, and Ianto was happy again. When Torchwood burned down in the Battle of Canary Wharf Ianto had almost thought about ending it all. There wasn't much left, but then he'd keep reminding himself there was still a chance to save Lisa._

_That had lead him to Torchwood three..._

~~

Ianto smoothed out the pile of clothes he'd just folded and glanced up at Jack. He'd explained about his sisters – Jack already knew most of Gavin's history, though he added in their mother's death this time – and now he was watching Jack carefully for his reaction.

Any other time Jack might've laughed. Ianto looked almost comical stood in the middle of the bedroom in just his boxers, a pile of neatly folded clothes in front of him.

"Everyone has their problems," Jack said gently.

"Yeah," Ianto smiled slightly. "I suppose I should think myself lucky for not going insane sooner."

Jack got up and wandered over to Ianto, pulling him for a quick hug. Ianto gratefully accepted the hug, sighing tiredly.

"If you don't feel like going back to bed, I could make some toast?" Jack suggested lightly.

"Yeah, ok," Ianto smiled slightly.

"But you gotta try and make some coffee, ok?" Jack said.

"Ok," Ianto nodded, following Jack towards the kitchen.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Thirteen wandered down the corridor, dark rings round her eyes. She hadn't slept in days; well none of them had. Kutner had already collapsed from exhaustion and Cuddy had sent the lot of them home for fear that it wouldn't just be Wilson they lost.

Wilson himself had got progressively worse after House had left and in the end they'd had no choice but to turn off the machines. There was nothing left of Wilson to save and House would just have to accept that when he got back from... where ever it was he'd disappeared to.

Cuddy tried more than once to phone House to let him know what had happened, but the mobile was always switched off and she couldn't bring herself to leave a message.

Foreman had been left to fill in the death certificate and then Wilson had been taken down to the morgue. His parents were dead so House was the closest thing to a next of kin and Cuddy had ordered that Wilson be kept in cold storage until House returned.

On the evening of the second day after House had disappeared Cuddy tried his mobile one final time. Surprisingly she got an answer.

"Cuddy?" House sounded strained. "I just need you to keep him alive for a little bit longer. I'm almost-"

House," Cuddy interrupted. "I've got something-"

"I'm nearly there with a cure; I promise I'll be back soon, ok?" House cut across.

"House, there's nothing you can do," Cuddy replied. "Wilson's dead."


	17. Scars

NB: Warning. This chapter contains descriptions of self-harm.

After having breakfast in bed (which Ianto allowed for once despite the risk of crumbs) Jack drove himself and Ianto to Cardiff bay and the Hub. They had barely stepped inside the cog wheel door when they were caught in an onslaught of chatter.

"There's still something you can do-"

"Jack, Wilson's dead and House thinks-"

"I know! You have all this alien tech-"

"It would be really difficult to combat death-"

"You owe me-"

"He'll understand if we-"

"SHUT UP!" Jack held his hands up silencing the babbling people in front of him. He already had a headache and Melody and House's attempts to talk over each other were not helping. "Thank you. Now, Ianto, could you make us some coffee? I get the feeling we're going to be here for a while."

Jack herded Melody and House into his office and sat them down before he headed for his desk. Rubbing his forehead for a moment he inwardly groaned. Finally he sat up straight and looked at the pair of them.

"Right, House," Jack said turning towards the maverick doctor. "You said Wilson's dead?"

"Yeah," House nodded.

Over the next hour House explained what had happened to Wilson, Melody inputting occasionally when needed. Ianto silently went round giving them all coffee's and standing just behind Jack for moral support. He'd slipped a little something in Jack's drink to help with the headache and Jack smiled at him gratefully.

"So you still don't know exactly what was wrong with Wilson?" Jack asked when they finished.

"Apart from being a bus crash, no," House shook his head. "But that doesn't really matter; the biggest obstacle at the moment is death."

"Even in the 51st century we don't have a cure for death," Jack said gently. "We... I might be able to get hold of something that could bring Wilson back long enough for you to say goodbye..."

"No," House shook his head. "I've seen the stuff you've got here. I can't believe that you don't have anything to bring people back. I understand the whole secrecy thing... everyone would want to use it if it got out... but I swear... I just need it for Wilson. No other miracle cures."

"House I really don't-"

"Look, I promise I will save your child if you just help me!" House pleaded desperately.

Jack knew the other man wasn't thinking clearly. Grief and depression were convincing House that Torchwood was hiding something he needed. Jack only wished that they were. At least then he wouldn't have to feel guilty about being unable to pay House back for saving Ianto.

"Jack," Melody began.

"What?" Jack glanced over at her.

"You said in your medical notes that you can't die, right?" She continued. "I was reading through them last night."

"Yeah," Jack nodded.

"I have an idea," Melody smiled slightly.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Gwen, go left!" Elvis called out as he ran down the side street after the Weevil.

They'd been chasing this Weevil for almost three days now and this time they were close to a capture. Gwen darted to the left and suddenly skidded in front of the Weevil. With one person in front and one behind the Weevil was cornered.

It turned on Elvis, snarling and launching itself at him, but he was ready. Unfortunately, he wasn't quite as coordinated as Gwen and though he managed to dodge and spray, he left his right arm open and the Weevil bite down hard before he wrestled it to the floor, spraying it with a copious amount of the liquid.

Gwen helped him, pulling a bag over the Weevil's head and tying its hands together. She sank down beside it, panting. Elvis growled in pain and examined the bite.

"You ok?" Gwen asked.

"Yeah, it's not too deep," Elvis replied, pushing his glasses up his nose. "I'll get Melody to look at it when we get back."

He sat down beside Gwen, gently probing the wound with his fingers. Gwen looked too out of morbid curiosity and frowned slightly.

"What happened to your arm?" She said, noticing the lines of white scars down his left forearm.

Elvis pulled his sleeve down quickly and shrugged.

"It's nothing," he said. "I had an accident when I was a kid."

"What kind of accident?" Gwen pushed.

"It... it was nothing," Elvis stood up quickly. "We ought to get the Weevil back to the Hub."

Gwen knew that Elvis was avoiding the subject because he clearly didn't want to talk about it, but that just made her want to know even more what had caused the scars on Elvis' arm.

~~

_He'd always been bright. That's what everyone told him. But it was never enough. He got a B in maths, Melody would get an A. He passed all his exams as slightly above average, Melody would pass as exceptional._

_Being a twin was shit. Just because you shared a womb for nine months didn't mean that you were going to be as good as each other. Melody was crap at sports and he wasn't, but that somehow didn't matter. Only good grades did._

_It wasn't that he resented Melody; after all it was his twin sister that had helped him get the grades he'd achieved. It was everyone else he hated. Always telling him 'why can't you do as well as your sister?' rather than celebrating what he had done._

_No matter how hard he tried, if he didn't do as well as Melody he might as well have not bothered at all. It was never good enough. He wasn't worried about passing his exams. He was just stressing out about what would happen when Melody did better._

_He never forgot how it started. They'd been dissecting things at school and he'd just pocketed one of the scalpels. It was quite easy. They went missing all the time, dropped or broken and no one bothered to tell the teacher._

_When he got home, he finished his homework as normal, and then went to his bed. He pushed it away from the wall and lifted up the loose wallpaper, taking a black marker pen and adding another little reminder. The wall beneath the paper was covered in words. Some so small they were almost impossible to read, but he knew exactly what each of them said._

_Elvis Reven is a piece of shit._

_Elvis Reven can't cope with anything._

_Elvis Reven is stupid._

_Elvis Reven is ugly._

_Elvis Reven is fat._

_Tonight Elvis added another sentence. He had been feeling worse and worse the closer he got to his GCSE's. The writing on the wall just wasn't enough anymore. That had been why he pocketed the scalpel. _

_He'd been looking at it throughout the lesson. It hadn't really occurred to Elvis what he'd been going to do with it until he got home. He waited until everyone else had gone to bed, then he fetched some toilet paper from the bathroom, pushed his bed against the door and sat down on the floor, pulling out the scalpel._

_Elvis pulled his pyjama sleeve up and held the blade against his arm, dragging it across in one swift movement, creating a long thin cut on his wrist. He let go of a breath he didn't know he'd been holding as relief swept through him. Finally he could think clearly. No more white noise in his head._

~~

Elvis and Gwen dragged the Weevil down to the cells and pushed it into an empty one, untying it. They stood outside the cell, watching the Weevil as it came round to make sure it was ok.

"Those scars," Elvis began suddenly glancing at Gwen.

"Oh?" Gwen looked at him expectantly.

"I did them myself," Elvis was careful to avoid Gwen's gaze and quickly hurried up to the main part of the Hub again.


	18. Same Difference

What Melody was proposing was not only insane and dangerous but also completely brilliant. This idea summed up the reason Jack had hired her. Of course it was filling him with dread, but every insane plan did. It was the same when he was travelling in the TARDIS with the Doctor.

There were still some things that they were going to have to deal with but it could work. It had to work really. There were three people praying that it would.

"I'm going to take some blood," Melody said to Jack. "Run a few tests; put it through a bunch of the scanners we've got and if I'm very clever I might be able to pinpoint exactly what it is that causes Jack to revive every time he dies. If I can do that, I might just be able to form a cure that can bring back Wilson and save your baby."

"Wait what?" Jack frowned slightly. "Who told you about-?"

"House," Melody waved a hand. "Doesn't matter now. The important thing is that I'm going to be fantastically brilliant and attempt to solve all your problems."

She definitely had the air of Owen. Still that was good. Many a time that cocky attitude had been what allowed Owen to save the day. Jack only wished he'd appreciated his old doctor more.

As Melody worked on Jack's blood sample Gwen and Elvis appeared having finished catching the Weevil and locking it in the cell and stood at the top of the autopsy bay watching them.

"What are you doing?" Gwen asked.

"Melody's had an idea about Wilson," Jack said quickly.

He would have to put up with Melody and House knowing about the baby, but he didn't want to tell Gwen. Not yet.

"Oh?" Elvis stepped forward, leaning on the railings beside Gwen.

"Yeah," Melody grinned up at her brother. "While you've been faffing about and wasting time with the Weevil and whatever alien tech you've been examining _I_ have come up with a cure for death."

"Well I'm going to continue faffing about... in the archives..." Elvis said visibly wilting. He turned and headed off leaving Gwen frowning slightly after him.

"I'll just go make sure he's ok," Gwen said following him.

As Melody continued her tests, House, Ianto and Jack all waiting impatiently in the autopsy bay, hovering round, Gwen wandered down to the archives to find Elvis. She heard him before she saw him. She followed the soft sobs down the aisles and found Elvis sat on the floor crying.

"Hey," Gwen sat beside him wrapping an arm round his shoulders. "What's wrong?"

"It's all your fault!" Elvis said shrugging her off and moving away. "I hadn't thought about how much better than me Melody was until you started asking about my scars!"

"How much..." Gwen frowned sadly. "Elvis, she's not better than you. She's just different."

"She's always been better," Elvis said, running his hands through his hair. "I'm just not good at anything."

He almost laughed as he realised he was nearly mimicking the position Ianto had been in only the day before.

"You shouldn't beat yourself-"

"Just piss off Gwen," Elvis snapped moving further away as Gwen reached out again. "You're always trying to be everyone's best mate, trying to get into Jack's pants, but just face it. You're an annoying bitch who everyone pities."

"That's enough," Gwen stood up. "I was only trying to be nice."

She stormed off leaving Elvis to sob alone in the dark. When she reached the main part of the Hub she flopped down onto the sofa in between Jack and Ianto. They, and House who was sat in one of the swivel chairs, all glanced at her.

"Elvis is upset because he thinks Melody is better than him," Gwen sighed in annoyance. "And he's been a complete jerk to me."

Jack rolled his eyes. Gwen had obviously said something to make Elvis feel even worse than he already was. He stood up.

"I better go and check on him," he said.

"No, it's ok," Ianto squeezed Jack's hand briefly as he passed. "I'll go. I can't stand all this waiting anyway."

"Oh ok..." Jack watched Ianto disappear down to the archives.

"I was only trying to comfort him," Gwen said. "I don't know why-"

"Gwen, shut up," Jack said softly. "Sorry, but I really can't listen to this right now."

Gwen frowned a little hurt.

Ianto found Elvis and sat beside him down in the archives. For a moment he didn't say anything, just sat whilst Elvis' sobs calmed.

"You ok?" Ianto asked finally.

"Yeah... it's..." Elvis sighed. "Just Gwen dragging the past up."

"Ah, good old Gwen," Ianto smiled slightly. "Always poking her nose in where it's not wanted."

"Yeah... she..." Elvis glanced at Ianto. He was always so quiet. Elvis knew if there was one person he could trust it was Ianto. He rolled up his sleeve and showed Ianto his scars. "She was just asking about these."

Ianto examined them for a moment before rolling up his own sleeves, the criss-cross of scars all the way up both forearms visible.

"Snap," he said quietly.

"When did you-"

"I... went a little bit insane..." Ianto said. "A few months ago. I'd had surgery and it left me brain damaged. I'm not exactly completely better now... but the surgery caused me to develop schizophrenia. It sort of runs in my family."

"Mine are from when I was a teenager," Elvis said. "Always living in the shadow of my twin sister, it made me pretty depressed."

"Guess we've got more in common than we thought," Ianto replied. "Especially now we both find Gwen incredibly annoying."

"Oh god..." Elvis groaned. "Was she really upset?"

"She'll get over it," Ianto waved a hand. "She always does."

"I didn't mean to shout at her, she's just so infuriating sometimes," Elvis glanced at Ianto. "You... you and Jack..."

"Yeah," Ianto nodded. "Me and Jack. I suppose while we're sharing you might as well find out."

"How long have you been together?" Elvis asked, sitting up a little straighter.

"About three years... depending on how you look at it..." Ianto smiled slightly.

"Are there many different ways to look at it?" Elvis looked slightly bemused.

"Well, we were sleeping together three years ago and then just as it got serious he buggered off," Ianto said. "I mean, when he explained why I could understand, though obviously I was still mad he left without saying anything. Then he told me he didn't want anything serious because he can't die... so we split up... and then I got ill and he looked after me whilst I was recovering... so in the end we kind of ended up back together again..."

"Wow," Elvis smiled teasingly. "Wish I'd never asked."

Ianto elbowed him gently.

"Come on," he said standing up and holding his hand out to Elvis and helping the other man to his feet. "We better go and make sure Gwen isn't bugging Jack and Melody."

"Ok," Elvis stood up shakily and followed Ianto up to the main part of the Hub.

As they suspected Gwen was irritating Jack and sent Elvis an especially hurt look when he entered.

"Ignore her," Ianto whispered. "She'll soon forgive you."

"Not sure if I want her too if she's going to be like that with me," Elvis said nodding towards Jack who couldn't move for Gwen's arms all over him.

"Yeah," Ianto shook his head. "Me neither."


	19. Curing Death

Melody's tests took a lot longer than she had previously anticipated and she was working late into the night. In fact when she finally finished and wandered up to the main part of the Hub it was dark, with just the eerie blue glow of the hot house plants illuminating everything.

She thought the others had gone home but then she found Jack and Ianto asleep together on the sofa, curled up. She smiled slightly to herself and almost jumped when she heard a voice from behind her.

"How do they do it?" House asked quietly. He was sat in the swivel chair again, leaning on his cane and watching the other two as they slept.

"Do what?" Melody replied frowning slightly.

"Just... be together?" House sighed. "Without caring what others think."

"I..." Melody had never really thought about it before. "I guess they just don't see their relationship as an issue."

"Do they never worry though? I mean... not everyone accepts..." House trailed off.

"If you love someone then it doesn't really matter what anyone else thinks," Melody said.

"If only it was that simple," House smiled wryly. "Life's never easy."

"I'm not saying it was easy," Melody pulled up the other swivel chair and sat down in front of House. "I mean... from what you say about Ianto's illness they've had their fair share of ups and downs, but ultimately nothing else matters when they've got each other."

"I..." House hesitated glancing at Melody. "Finished that cure yet?"

"Oh... yeah... I think so," Melody nodded. "As far as I can make out, if you inject Wilson with this, it should bring him back. It'll only work once though and next time he dies, you won't be able to bring him back."

House nodded as Melody handed him a vial of amber coloured liquid. He glanced at it for a moment before pocketing it and wondering vaguely how he was going to get it through customs.

"There's no guarantee it will work though," Melody said gently. "If it doesn't House... then you'll have to let him go."

"I know," House sighed again. "I... I just don't want to have to say goodbye... not when there's nothing on the other side..."

"You'll be ok," Melody squeezed his shoulder gently as she passed to head back down to the autopsy bay to tidy up.

"Yeah..." House nodded sadly.

~~

_As soon as she got in from collage she slammed the front door and ran up to the bathroom. No one else was in the house, not even Elvis. He was at one of his friends so she had all the time in the world._

_That didn't mean she was going to hang about. Peeing on a stick wasn't difficult; it was the waiting she found hard. Three agonising minutes. Then she picked up the stick again and swallowed hard before finally looking at it._

_Positive._

~~

Jack awoke in the early hours of the morning with Ianto in his arms. He smiled slightly to himself but the smile soon disappeared when he realised why they had fallen asleep there.

He considered getting up, but he didn't want to disturb Ianto, so he stayed where he was. Melody passed at one point and Jack stopped her.

"Where's House?" He asked in an undertone so as not to wake Ianto.

"He's... he's gone..." Melody said. "I gave him the vial of liquid that I extracted from your blood sample and he decided to leave. He said thanks though."

"Not one for goodbyes," Jack smiled slightly. "Or manners."

"I've got another vial for the baby," Melody continued. "But Jack the thing is-"

"Morning!" Gwen said brightly and far too loudly for the early hour.

"Shh!" Jack said quickly as Ianto stirred.

"Sorry," Gwen covered her mouth with her hands. She made her way to her desk to start working.

"What were you saying?" Jack turned back to Melody.

"I... we just need to talk... before we proceed," she said. "Perhaps tonight after everyone else has returned home?"

"Ok," Jack nodded watching as Elvis walked past almost silently compared to Gwen.

~~

_She made her way towards the clinic alone. She hadn't told anyone. Not even Elvis. Ordinarily they told each other everything. Well twins had to stick together, but just recently Elvis had been distant and withdrawn so she had decided to leave him to deal with whatever crisis he was going through._

_She pushed the door of the clinic open and sat down next to the other women all waiting. She had half expected them to send her disapproving looks, but they were all here for the same thing and somehow that made them all equal._

_Of course she was scared and nervous and slightly upset she'd managed to get herself into this situation, but she really wanted to get it over and done with so she didn't have to think about it._

_"Melody Reven?"_

_As soon as she heard her name she felt sick. Standing up she followed the nurses down the white corridors towards one of the exam rooms._

~~

Jack knew that the strain of the past few days was still affecting the team. Ianto and Elvis were becoming more and more alike, quietening and keeping themselves to themselves. Melody threw herself into her research of Jack's blood and Gwen fussed round all of them, trying to lift the mood in the Hub.

In the end Jack got so sick of waiting that he decided to send them all home early. Gwen was out the door first intent on going home and making Rhys a special meal. Elvis went a little slower, waiting for his sister, but Melody explained that she had files that needed finishing and she'd be home later.

Elvis didn't look convinced and seemed a little upset by the brush off, but he went without complaints. Once everyone was out the Hub, Jack and Ianto followed Melody down to the autopsy bay.

"There's no guarantee this will work," she began. "And from studying what happens when you die I'm afraid the only way to get the full benefits is if the baby dies and revives. You're putting all your trust in me to get this right."

"It's fine," Jack said. "I..."

He glanced at Ianto who was clutching his hand tightly. Their eyes met for a moment and Ianto shot him the smallest of smiles.

"We weren't really expecting this," he said. "It wouldn't... well it would matter... but..."

"I just want to make sure you know how risky this is," Melody said. "We won't know for certain if it's worked until the time comes when you would normally lose the foetus."

"Just do it," Jack said quickly.

Melody pulled the liquid into the biggest needle Jack had ever clapped eyes on and he had to close his eyes quickly as Torchwood's new doctor searched for the baby with the ultrasound wand and positioned the injection.

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"House?" Taub ran towards the maverick doctor as he stepped through the hospital doors and almost collapsed.

House hadn't eaten much in the time he'd been gone and now it was taking its toll on his body. He pushed Taub away though and leant more heavily on his cane.

"Where's Cuddy?" He asked.

"House don't you think-"

"No, I need to talk to Cuddy," House said firmly.

"I think she's in her office," Taub replied. "Why do you need to-?"

"I've got a cure for Wilson," House limped slowly towards Cuddy's office.

"But House," Taub stopped him gently. "Wilson's dead."

"I've got a cure for death."


	20. Killing Time

Cuddy had always believed House to be completely insane, unethical and with a complete disregard for human rights when it came to treating patients, but she had never heard him come out with something so calmly before. In fact he was so calm when he told her exactly what the vial of yellow liquid was that it took her a minute to realise exactly what he was proposing.

"It's a cure for Wilson," House said. "I can bring him back. I just need you to let me near his body."

"You want..." Cuddy looked up at him after a moment frowning. "House, Wilson's dead. You can't bring him back."

House was leaning ever more heavily on his cane and he placed a hand on Cuddy's desk in an attempt to balance the support.

"Please," he said, his bright blue eyes meeting her light green ones. "You don't know how much I need him... I didn't realise just how much I love him until that bus crash..."

"How much you-"

"Let's not get into that now," House said. "Look. This stuff might not work at all, it might only bring him back long enough to say goodbye, but there's a chance that it could bring him back completely. It's not going to affect his body. If he stays dead then no one would ever know."

Cuddy knew it was a really bad idea. Not because she thought something bad would happen, but because saying yes would be like admitting that she didn't truly believe Wilson was dead and that would affect House's recovery. House needed to let go or he was going to have a mental breakdown.

"Ok," she said finally. Well it wasn't like she'd ever told House no before. Not properly. Maybe if this didn't work House would accept that Wilson was gone?

"Thank you," House said. "I'll make up for all the work I've missed in the clinic."

"It's fine," Cuddy waved a hand. "When you've... take a week off ok?"

House nodded and limped slowly towards the door, barely a shadow of the man Cuddy had known only a month before hand.

House made his way down to the morgue. Taub had obviously told everyone else that he was back because on his painfully slow journey his entire team caught up with House. He tried to bat them away, but was too weak to actually manage it.

"House, you need to rest," Thirteen said gently.

"I'll rest when I've seen Wilson," he replied.

"House, when was the last time you ate?" Foreman asked firmly.

"If you don't all go away I'm going to fire you," House snapped.

"You can't fire Foreman," Kutner pointed out unhelpfully.

"Fine, I'll just beat him with my cane," House rolled his eyes.

"House we're just trying to-"

"I know!" House cut across Taub. "But I don't need your help, ok? I just want to see Wilson."

They all seemed to take the hint and drifted away before House finally reached the morgue.

Seeing Wilson's body suddenly made everything seem so much more real and House found himself close to tears as he pulled the draw open. Wilson was so pale, his lips blue. House reached out a hand and found himself surprised at how cold Wilson was.

He'd touched dead bodies before, knew what they felt like, but this was different. This time he knew the person before... this time there was an emotional attachment.

House shook his head trying to clear himself of those depressing thoughts. Pulling the vial of liquid from his pocket, he sucked it up into the syringe, attached a needle and injected it into Wilson's arm. Now he just had to play the waiting game.

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Jack felt sick. He wasn't sure if it was the morning sickness (that never seemed to hang around just in the morning) or the thought of having to wait to find out if his child would live, or both.

Ianto had spent the morning keeping busy, out of Jack's way, only popping into the office when he'd made another drink. No more coffee, they'd both decided that despite the minimal risk, they'd try to keep Jack away from anything that could do any damage.

Ianto had also made sure that everyone stayed away from Jack's office. The less stressed Jack was (and though he hated to admit it but it would only really be Gwen who stressed Jack out) the better.

Melody tidied up the autopsy bay and wandered up to the main part of the Hub to find her brother. Elvis was sat at his workstation frowning slightly as he typed on the computer, pen behind his ear.

"You ok?" She asked sitting beside him.

"Yeah," he smiled slightly not looking away from his screen.

"What was all that about yesterday?" She asked gently.

"It was..." Elvis turned to look at her. "It was nothing. Gwen just... brought up some old memories..."

"Nothing you want to talk about?" Melody leant forward, chin in one hand.

"Nah, I'm fine now, promise," he replied.

"Ok, see you later then," she stood up and ruffled his hair as she passed to head to the archives to file away her notes.

Gwen was just coming up and smiled at Melody as they passed. She glanced round the Hub and wondered vaguely if she could risk popping in to see Jack. In the end she decided against it. Their poor Captain had been so stressed lately.

~~

_"Gwen come on!" _

_Gwen Cooper sighed and ran down the stairs. Her mother always seemed stressed nowadays. Ever since her Dad had left there seemed to be no time for anything but stress._

_"I need to get you to school!" Her mother grabbed her by the arm and pulled her towards the door._

_Her mother's nails dug in just a little too much and Gwen wriggled in pain. She was pulled towards the car and strapped into the back, holding her small backpack in her hands._

_"Now, Mummy has to work late tonight so you'll be staying with Josephine," her mother said, adjusting her make up in the mirror._

_All her mother ever worried about was her makeup and her job. Gwen hardly got a look in._

_"I don't like it at Josephine's!" Gwen complained. "I don't want to go to school. Can't I come to work with you?"_

_"No, my boss doesn't like six year old girls," her mother smiled that secret smile to herself. Gwen had noticed the secret smile turn up more and more recently. Usually it only appeared at Christmas when her mother was buying and hiding presents. "At least I hope he doesn't."_

_Gwen frowned slightly and hugged her backpack to her chest tighter. She didn't like her Mummy's boss. He kept making her Mummy work late._

~~

"House," Cuddy rested a hand on his shoulder.

"Just a bit longer," House insisted, still clutching Wilson's hand.

"It's been nearly two days," Cuddy said quietly. "Maybe it's time to let him go."

"No, I promised him that I'd save him," House shook his head, blinking hard, refusing to cry.

"Sometimes you can't save people House," Cuddy sighed.

"I promised I'd save him," House glanced up at Cuddy, the first tears falling.

"I know," Cuddy almost burst into tears herself. "I know."


	21. Shattered Hope

Ianto could hear Jack's laughter resounding through the Hub and it made him smile. He wandered towards Jack's office and pushed open the door gently, placing two mugs of steaming hot chocolate down as he reached the desk.

They were the only ones left now, everyone else had gone home for the night and Jack had taken the opportunity to ring Martha and let her know the updates.

"Well any time you feel like leaving that fiancée of yours..." Jack laughed and trailed off. "Better go, Ianto's just turned up and he looks slightly annoyed that I'm propositioning you. Yeah, yeah... I'll tell him. Bye Martha."

Ianto smiled slightly as Jack put the phone down.

"Having fun?" He asked pretending to be a little annoyed at Jack's flirting, though he didn't really mind.

"Yeah, Martha says hi by the way," Jack replied, pulling one of the mugs towards him. "She still won't leave Tom."

"Ah, she doesn't know what she's turning down," Ianto grinned.

"Mm," Jack took a sip of the hot chocolate and made a noise of approval. "How do you manage to make these drinks taste so..."

"Orgasmic?" Ianto suggested.

"I was going to say fantastic, but orgasmic does do it more justice," Jack laughed.

"Well if I told you the secret I'd have to kill you," Ianto said.

"Damn," Jack shook a fist at him.

They sat in silence for a few moments, Jack idly tracing his fingers across his stomach without realising. Ianto noticed though and it made him smile.

"What?" Jack asked.

"You," Ianto shook his head. "You keep rubbing you stomach."

"Oh..." Jack quickly put the hand against the mug so he was warming both.

"You don't have to stop," Ianto said gently.

"Yes, I do," Jack sighed. "It's just a foetus Ianto. Until we know for certain whether it's going to live... it's not a baby."

Ianto glanced down at his own mug, nodding. He knew Jack was trying to keep their expectations low so it would hurt less if he lost the child, but he still couldn't help feeling they were pre-empting the worst case scenario.

"Can't you just imagine for a minute though what he's going to be like?" Ianto looked up at Jack again.

"Ianto..." Jack said gently. "It's nothing. You have to-"

"Surely you've thought about it though?" Ianto urged. "Had dreams about what he'd be like?"

It was Jack's turn to look down at his mug now.

~~

_Jack had had many a dream about his past. Many about his future, usually without those he loved. The only time he ever had nice dreams though, was when he was pregnant._

_He was sat on the Peninsula sand dunes, Ianto Jones sat beside him, holding his hand gently. A small brown haired boy with bright blue eyes toddled along in front of them, almost falling over as he headed towards his parents._

_"Look!" The small boy said ecstatically, holding out a small purple flower._

_"Oh wow!" Ianto took the flower from the boy and pulled him into his lap. "What a clever boy!"_

_"I found one for Mummy too!" The boy held out another flower towards Jack. _

_He knew it was a dream, but Jack still felt his heart melt as he reached out to take the flower._

~~

"No," Jack lied finally. "I've never thought about it. If I do then I don't know how I'll survive if we lose it."

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House still hadn't left Wilson's side. It had now been three days and he was beginning to suspect that the miracle cure was not going to work. Cuddy had been down several times in an attempt to get House to leave, but the maverick doctor had insisted he wasn't ready. He just needed a bit longer. Just in case.

_"You're always going to want a bit longer."_

House could almost hear Wilson talking, see the other man smiling. He felt like he was slowly dying inside. Nothing had ever hurt this much before. He would rather suffer through a million infarctions than live with this pain.

Wilson had always been there, right from the beginning. On his very first day House had treated Wilson the same way he treated everyone and yet the Oncologist had still become a firm friend.

~~

_House had been working at Princeton Plainsboro a week when Cuddy sent him to the seminar. It was an utterly boring task, but he'd decided that since Lisa Cuddy was the only person on the planet who would hire him he would wait at least another three days before he started complaining._

_As soon as he saw the young doctor smash the window House knew that his evening was about to get better. _

_They didn't see each other again after House had bailed the man out of jail. They had one drink as thanks, but that was it. However House was determined that this interesting person be kept close so that should the need arise he had a friend who could keep him entertained._

_When House had been working at Princeton Plainsboro for two weeks, Cuddy turned up with the doctor that he'd bailed._

_"Ah, Doctor House," Cuddy said. "This is Doctor Wilson, I believe you've met? He's going to be our new head of Oncology."_

_"Hey again," Wilson went pink and glanced down at his feet._

_"Hey... so cancer?" House smiled slightly knowing how uncomfortable Wilson was. "You spend years with your patients to ultimately have them die. Kind of the opposite of what I do."_

_"Uh, yeah," Wilson scratched the back of his neck awkwardly. "I guess so."_

_Cuddy frowned at House, but he ignored her._

_"Fancy a drink later," he didn't know what made him say it. Never figured it out, it was just something about Wilson. The first drink they'd had hadn't been anything special, just formality, but something about Wilson made House want to get to know him. Not that he would EVER admit that out loud._

_"Yeah... sure..." Wilson seemed a little reluctant, but after they had had a drink that night in the bar not far from House's apartment they never left each other's side again._

~~

House smiled a watery smile at the memory. He held Wilson's hand more tightly between his own, willing the rush of warm blood to fill it. Still it did not and a little more of House died every time he felt the bitter sting of hope shattered.

Taking a deep breath House stood up and leant over, kissing Wilson briefly before taking his cane and limping slowly towards the door.

He knew that if he didn't leave now he would never summon the strength to do it. As he approached the door, House glanced back one last time, trying to ignore the healthy glow Wilson seemed to be giving off.

Too many times he had been deceived by the sunlight. Too many times had he got this far and then run back thinking the formula had finally worked.

"Goodbye Wilson," he said softly.

He almost didn't believe what he heard next. Thought it must be the hope causing him to hallucinate. After all he hadn't eaten or slept properly since the bus crash and his fractured skull needed time to heal properly.

But after that first initial deep breath came another and another. Gasps filled the room and House almost fell over in his desperate need to reach Wilson again.

"House?"


	22. Dying Changes Everything

In the days following Wilson's revival, there was an obvious change in both him and House. Cuddy let them have the promised week off and they went home together where House looked after Wilson. It was a slightly surreal experience and neither of them were acting like themselves.

House spent his time making Wilson food and bringing him anything he needed, not that Wilson asked for anything. In fact the Oncologist did nothing but stay in bed all day.

As House liked to say 'almost dying changes nothing. Dying changes everything', and Wilson was no different. His spell in the 'afterlife' had left him more than a little shook up. He hadn't spoken since House had explained what he'd done to bring him back.

There had been no lectures about swanning off to Cardiff without telling anyone, or stressing himself out when he had fractured skull; in fact Wilson didn't even seem to register half of what House said to him.

"Wilson," House wandered into the bedroom one morning nearly two weeks after the accident and sat beside Wilson who was curled up on his side, covers pulled up just below his arms. "We need to talk."

Wilson didn't say anything, didn't even look up. House sighed. This wasn't good, if Wilson didn't snap out of it soon then House was going to have to get him counselling or something.

"That's not talking," House continued softly.

"You were right," Wilson said finally.

It had been so long since he'd spoken that both he and House almost didn't recognise his voice. House glanced at him and reached out, rubbing his partner's arm in an attempt to comfort him.

"There is no afterlife," Wilson met House's gaze.

"Right..." House watched him worriedly.

"Do you know what that knowledge does to you?" Wilson asked.

"Wilson, it doesn't matter," House shook his head.

"What do you mean it doesn't matter?" Wilson sat up looking at House like he was mad.

"If there was an afterlife then nothing we did in this life would matter," House said firmly. "You've just got to believe that the things we do now make a difference. That they mean something."

"You weren't there," Wilson ran a hand through his hair. "You haven't died."

"I've almost died," House pointed out. "More than once."

"Yeah..." Wilson lay back down, avoiding House's gaze again. "Almost dying doesn't change anything."

"Ok," House nodded. "How long are you going to be like this?"

"What do you..?" Wilson trailed off. "It's not just something you can snap out of."

"Well if you don't Wilson, then you're just going to wither away until you die again," House frowned.

"Just go away," Wilson mumbled.

"Wilson," House ran a hand over his face. "Look, I love you, but even I know that this is damaging. For both of us. Please, just try; for yourself if not for me."

Wilson watched House limp back out of the bedroom.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Ianto wandered into the bedroom with a tray of toast and cereal. He wasn't sure if Jack would want anything, but he needed to keep practising, needed to make sure he could still make breakfast.

Jack was lying curled up on his side looking miserable. The morning sickness had got progressively worse until he could no longer even bother to get up. So Ianto had taken on the role of doctor.

"Bought you some food," Ianto said quietly, putting the tray of food down on the floor, kneeling beside the bed and stroking his fingers through Jack's hair.

"Thanks," Jack smiled weakly.

"I take it you're not feeling any better?" Ianto asked.

"Not really, no," Jack shook his head, groaning.

"I'm sure it'll pass," Ianto said gently.

"Yeah..." Jack sighed. "At least while I'm sick I know he's ok..."

"He?" Ianto smiled slightly.

"It," Jack corrected quickly. He caught Ianto's look. "No, Ianto, don't."

"I'm sorry," Ianto said. "I just... it's hard..."

"I know," Jack took Ianto's hand. "But it'll be harder when we lose it."

"If," Ianto said.

"If," Jack agreed reluctantly.

"Was it ever this bad when you were pregnant before?" Ianto asked after a few moments silence.

"No," Jack shook his head.

"So it could be a good sign?" Ianto said.

"We won't know anything for certain until the scan next week," Jack replied, trying not to get his or Ianto's hopes any higher than they already were.

If this baby died they were both heading for a huge crash and Jack wasn't sure which one of them was going to suffer worse. On the one hand it wouldn't be the first child he'd lost and chances were he was going to react badly, but on the other hand Ianto never coped well with stress and something like this could tip him over the edge again.

"Everything could be fine," Ianto said. "Eventually we're going to have to consider that."

"Once we know if the foetus is ok or not," Jack sighed again and turned onto his back looking at the ceiling.

"I'm gonna make sure the others are ok at the Hub," Ianto said standing up.

"You're going to walk all the way there?" Jack asked.

"I could do with the fresh air," Ianto shrugged. "Besides, it won't be for much longer. The nurses at Providence Park think I'll be ready to re-take my driving test in the next month or so."

"See you later then," Jack nodded, watching Ianto go.

As soon as he heard the front door bang shut, Jack sat up gingerly and went to get dressed. He might as well try and make the effort to look presentable even if he felt like shit.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

House had left the apartment to go and buy more food, which gave Wilson the chance to be alone with his thoughts. He knew that House was only trying to help, but he couldn't help having the nagging feeling that the only reason the diagnostician was being so nice was because he felt guilty about the bus crash.

Wilson sighed and got up deciding to take the opportunity to have a shower. He hadn't exactly lied to House, it was true that dying had completely changed his perspective on life, but he wouldn't have told House not to bring him back. What he would have done is made House question why he was so desperate to bring him back. Was it really for Wilson's benefit or his own? The arguments they'd had might have faded from House's memory, but for Wilson they felt like they had happened only the other day. The first thing they would have to do when Wilson could finally drag his thoughts back from death would be to talk. They needed to resolve the problems they'd had before the bus crash had interrupted them. Wilson stood under the hot stream of water and sighed. He supposed one good thing had come out of dying. It had proved that House really did need him, even if the need didn't run deep enough for it to be love.


	23. Rebuilding Relationships

"There were times I used to think about death all the while," House said quietly through the darkness.

He was lying awake at three in the morning staring at the ceiling. Wilson was silent beside him, but House knew he was awake as well.

"I used to wonder if death was a reward for those few good people," House continued. "Innocent people always used to die. Good, innocent people. But I didn't. I had to put up with..."

He faltered. Wilson knew all about the abuse House had suffered as a child. Knew what House used to do to cope.

"I used to think about it to," Wilson agreed, turning to face House. "I had a funny uncle."

"If I were Foreman I'd think that meant you were abused," House glanced at Wilson watching him carefully.

"Yeah..." Wilson didn't say anything else.

"You weren't were you?" House frowned.

In all the years he'd known Wilson, House had learnt just about everything about the Oncologist. He'd met Wilson's parents, met his remaining brother, listened as Wilson explained about his other missing brother. But not once had the slightest hint of abuse ever crept in.

"Not... not exactly..." Wilson replied finally.

"Not exactly?" House shuffled a little closer, finding Wilson's hand. "Tell me."

Wilson avoided House's gaze, falling quiet again. He didn't know what had made him after all these years start to think about it again. Maybe it was just dying. Dying changed everything. Just about every depressing thought he'd ever had had come back to him in the past few weeks.

~~

_"James! Come on!" Daniel called out._

_James sighed and gathered up his drawing pads and pencil case. He hated it when they had to stay at their uncle's._

_"Coming!" He called back to his elder brother._

_"Hurry up squirt," Russell, his eldest brother, ruffled his hair as he passed. "We don't want to keep him waiting."_

_"No, I know," James said, packing his things into his bag and swinging it onto his back._

_Their father piled them into the car and drove them the seventy miles to their uncles. Those journey's never seemed to last long enough. As usual Uncle Fred greeted them with smiles and jokes and their Dad was more than happy to leave the boys with him. _

_"Right then boys!" Fred clapped his hands together and the three boys braced themselves. "The first thing we're going to do is clear the yard of snow."_

_They knew better than to put their coats back on. As the three boys wandered out to the front yard they glanced around for the shovels they normally used._

_"This year I thought it would be more fun to make the snow into snowballs and pile them up down near the road," their uncle said beaming at them._

_"But uncle, we don't have our gloves," James piped up._

_The smile never faltered. His uncle leant down and grasped his forearm just a little too tightly. _

_"You will do as I say, do you understand?" His uncle then proceeded to drag him outside. "Clear it all up."_

_His brothers followed without complaint and after rubbing his arm gingerly, James joined them to clear up the snow._

_That year was one of the worst. When they finally managed to clear away all the snow their uncle let them back inside the house. He made them strip and stood them inside a small tin bath, scrubbing them clean. When they stepped out to dry, their skin was red raw._

_No pyjama's and one bed between them forced the boys to curl up together for warmth. Being the youngest James was squashed in the middle by his elder brothers in an attempt to keep him safe. Somehow though he couldn't feel safe in his uncle's house._

~~

House squeezed Wilson's hand gently. Wilson looked at him and caught his eye, smiling ever so slightly.

"I always wondered why," he said after a while. "I always thought he couldn't possibly love us, but it wasn't that. He did love us; he just loved the power he had over us more."

"Power is a fascinating thing," House agreed. "Some people just don't where to draw the line when it comes to exerting it."

"So which is it for you?" Wilson asked.

"What do you mean?" House frowned slightly.

"Do you love me or the power you have over me?" Wilson was watching him closely for his reaction.

"I love you," House said firmly, trying not to sound hurt at the fact that Wilson didn't seem to believe it. "When you... I didn't know what I was going to do if I lost you. Nothing else mattered..."

"Really?" Wilson didn't sound convinced.

"Do you really think I'd travel half way across the globe with a fractured skull, not bothering to eat or sleep, to fetch an unlikely miracle cure for just any patient?" House said softly.

"Sometimes House," Wilson began. "It's not about the big gestures, but the small actions that nobody notices."

"Like telling Cuddy?" House suggested.

"Did you do it because you felt I'd forced you to, or because you wanted her to know?"

"Because I wanted her to know."

"It's a start," Wilson's smile grew a little.

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Jack was lying on the sofa groaning. Ianto was being very patient with him, even Jack had to admit, and now he was just petulant.

"Oh shut up," Ianto reprimanded him lightly. "I'm waiting on you hand and foot aren't I?"

"Yeah," Jack smiled up at him. "And I love you for it."

"I hope it's not the only thing you love me for," Ianto said.

"Course not!" Jack gave him a look of seriousness. "I love your cooking and your caffeinated drinks too."

"You're lucky I'm in a good mood," Ianto warned. "Else you'd have a pillow being chucked at you right now."

"You wouldn't," Jack pouted.

"I would," Ianto nodded, sitting on the floor with his back to the sofa because Jack was spread across its entire length.

"I need the loo!" Jack announced getting up quickly.

"Thanks for letting me know!" Ianto called after Jack's retreating form.

Jack chuckled to himself and wandered into the bathroom. He was out again within thirty seconds though meeting Ianto's questioning gaze with a look of worry.

"I'm bleeding," he said.


	24. Heartbeats

Wilson made it out of bed the next day. Admittedly he didn't get any further than the couch and he was still in his pyjamas but it was definitely a start. House decided to join him for once and sat next to Wilson, clad in his own pyjamas, duvet covering their legs. It was snowing outside the apartment and the dodgy boiler meant inside wasn't much warmer. The pair of them were glad for each other's company.

House took control of the remote as always and Wilson supplied the food. After watching an entire series of Blackadder and munching their way through three boxes of Oreo's House decided enough was enough.

"Right," he said standing up and grabbing his cane as he limped towards the bedroom, dragging the duvet with him.

"Hey!" Wilson complained. "I'm cold!"

"We're going out!" House called from the bedroom. "You need to get dressed."

"Where are we going?" Wilson asked, frowning slightly as he stood up and slowly wandered down the hall to the bedroom.

"Out," House replied evasively.

"Out where?" Wilson folded his arms, watching House pull some fresh clothes out of the draw.

"Just put this on," House chucked a clean jumper at Wilson. "Wrap up warm."

The Oncologist couldn't help but smile slightly. It was funny, but Wilson had never noticed before just how subtle House was about his love for him. Normally he'd have questioned House, but today Wilson decided just to follow his instructions and wrap up warm.

Once they were both ready House limped towards the front door, trying to disguise just how heavily he was leaning on his cane. Wilson noticed of course, but let it slide for now. He'd question House later.

"Do I get a clue?" Wilson asked as they stepped out onto the snow covered street.

"It's within walking distance," House replied.

"That's a ten mile radius in every direction," Wilson complained. "You've gotta give me something else."

"It's within _my_ walking distance," House said smiling wryly.

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Ianto didn't want Jack have to move too much, so whilst the captain cleaned himself up, Ianto phoned Melody and told her what had happened. She promised him she'd be there with a med kit in ten minutes.

Almost as soon as he put the phone down Jack appeared, looking pale and sick. He lay on the sofa curling up. Ianto sat next to him gently rubbing his back.

"I've... I've managed to stop the bleeding," Jack said as he took a shuddering breath.

Blood could mean only one thing and Jack really didn't want to have to contemplate that fact. All these months spent trying to come to terms with the idea of losing another child and now he had to face it. The worst part was he had let a small part of him believe that maybe there was a chance. That maybe this time the baby would be ok.

Jack hugged his arms round himself as he felt the familiar stab of pain. He wouldn't cry. He promised himself this time he wouldn't. For one he wouldn't be able to cope if he broke down again and for another Ianto shouldn't have to look after him.

"It'll be ok," Ianto said sounding more confident than he felt.

Jack didn't say anything. He had to keep hold of himself. Ianto didn't deal with stress and upset well and the last thing he needed was for his support to crumble.

"You know... you can be sad..." Ianto said, reaching out to take Jack's hand. "You can break down and-"

"No I can't," Jack shook his head. "I can't."

"Jack I-" Ianto was cut short by a knock at the door.

He stood up and went to let Melody in.

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It turned out that House was only taking them as far as the end of the street. Tucked away just out of sight was a small coffee shop. Evidently House was a regular there as the waitresses seemed to know him and asked him if he wanted his 'usual'.

"Yeah, and a hot chocolate for my partner," House said nodding towards Wilson.

"Coming up," the waitress smiled.

Wilson felt himself growing warm, though whether it was from House's comment or the tea room's radiator he wasn't sure. They sat down together and Wilson glanced out the window where it had started snowing again.

"Why did we come here?" Wilson asked curiously after a while.

"Rehab," House replied. "You haven't been out the apartment in a long time. So we're gonna take baby steps. Down the street now, to the grocery store tomorrow and so on."

"You're breaking me in gently?" Wilson smiled slightly.

"Yeah," House shrugged.

"Thanks," Wilson said.

"It's alright," House glanced down at his hands clasped on the table.

"House," Wilson began, reaching a hand across the table and taking one of House's. "You are ok with this aren't you?"

"Course I am," House nodded. "Completely, utterly, totally."

"Ok," Wilson laughed a little.

"You're... you're ok about the whole death thing..?" House checked.

"I'm.... getting there..." Wilson said finally. "I'll be fine. I just need a bit more time."

The waitress dropped off their drinks, coffee for House and hot chocolate for Wilson and the pair of them spent the rest of the morning sat talking in the window of the cafe.

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Melody instructed Jack to lay flat on the sofa and gave him something for the pain first of all. Then she checked that the bleeding had totally stopped and started getting the ultrasound kit ready. Ianto was stood at one end of the sofa, stroking his fingers through Jack's hair gently. Jack was trying to concentrate on his breathing and not let his grief overwhelm him.

"Ok," Melody said squirting the cold gel onto Jack's stomach and rubbing the wand over it.

Jack closed his eyes. Four agonising minutes passed and nothing. No sound, not a heartbeat, not a word left from the mouths of any of them. Eventually Melody cleared her throat and set the wand down.

"I'm sorry, Jack," she said finally.

"No," Ianto stood up. "You didn't look properly."

"Ianto... I couldn't find a heartbeat, the foetus wasn't moving..." Melody shook her head. "The baby's dead."

"No, please," Ianto moved round so he was right next to Melody. "Please just look one last time."

"Ianto I really don't think it's a good-"

"Melody," Ianto took hold of the ultrasound wand. "Please."

Melody couldn't take her eyes of the desperate look on Ianto's face. She shouldn't check again, it wasn't fair to let them think that she had hope for the baby. But she caved. Ianto was so much like Elvis that Melody couldn't resist the pleading look.

"Ok," she said.

She picked up the wand and passed it over Jack's abdomen one last time. Ianto watched the screen, praying for the sound of the heartbeat. None of them could quite believe it when they heard the sound. First one beat. Then another. Then another.


	25. TLC

It took some tempting words and several long weeks of TLC (that Cuddy allowed without question), but finally both House and Wilson returned to work. Everyone knew now so there was no hiding anymore, but even Wilson was surprised by how normal everything was. No one mentioned anything. It was like they were any other couple.

The best thing about returning to work though, was the little things that made him smile. The times when House burst through his balcony door to ask if a tumour looked cancerous or lung scarring like sarcoidosis or, more often than not, just to pretend to ask Wilson something simply to give him an excuse to visit the other man.

Every day, at exactly one thirty, House would enter through the blcony door and steal half of Wilson's lunch. Of course Wilson had been taking enough lunch for both of them for almost a year now, so it wasn't really stealing.

They'd sit together and chat about everything and anything. Cases House was working on, drug trials Wilson was trying to get his patients into, what colour they were going to repaint the spare room.

The day came though, when Wilson had to face once more the horrible reality of what he'd been through. House pushed open the door and flopped down onto the couch as usual after grabbing a sandwich off Wilson and then proceeded to start complaining about Foreman.

"-and then he started telling me he'd go to Cuddy if I didn't hand over the syringe!" House scoffed. "As if I care what Cuddy thinks?!"

"Yeah..." Wilson replied distantly.

"Ok, what's up?" House asked, sitting up now.

"I... what?" Wilson blinked as if only just realising House was there.

"You've been acting weird since we got in this morning," House frowned slightly. "What's wrong?"

"It's..." Wilson hesitated. He was being silly. "It's nothing."

"It's not nothing," House stood up and wandered slowly across the room, leaning on Wilson's desk. "Tell me."

"My... my patient... Lily Swallow... she died earlier," Wilson began after a moment. "She... she was only eight years old."

House nodded. When he'd recovered enough to talk about dying Wilson had explained everything that he remembered. There was no afterlife, but he remembered the darkness, and something moving. It was a place filled with fear of the unknown and Wilson didn't want to go back there.

"You can't save everyone," House said softly. "You're going to have to let some of them go."

"I know," Wilson sighed. "It's just..."

"Yeah," House, for once, was not happy at having his claims vindicated, least of all by Wilson.

"I couldn't bear to have to go back there," Wilson shuddered.

"You don't have to," House promised, walking round the desk so he could lay a hand on Wilson's shoulder, squeezing slightly. "Not for several years anyway."

"But I do eventually," Wilson glanced up at House.

"We all do eventually," House said meeting Wilson's gaze.

Wilson looked away, returning to his paperwork. House let the hand that had been on Wilson's shoulder fall to his side. He needed a way to make Wilson feel better. A sudden thought popped into House's head and he left to go and make some arrangements.

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Despite the good news, the minute Melody left the flat, Jack retreated to the bedroom and curled up under the covers. Ianto had remained in the living room, sat on the floor, knees drawn up, his back leaning against the sofa. He was chewing the tip of his thumb absent mindedly as his thoughts raced at ninety miles per hour.

All the weeks they'd spent pondering what would happen if the baby died, neither of them had really considered what would happen should the baby live. Now though, Ianto was beginning to ponder this outcome and what exactly this would mean for both of them. For one thing they'd have to monitor the baby's mental state. Having his genes would mean that it was at least four times more likely to develop schizophrenia as well. There was only a little scientific proof that it was hereditary but cases like Ianto's where several family members had the illness were becoming more commonplace.

Ianto heard Jack move in the other room. He ought to go and make sure the other man was ok really. Ianto stood up shakily and turned to head into the bedroom, but something made him stop. It just didn't seem real. He felt that if he went to find Jack then the captain would tell him he'd been dreaming and the baby was dead. Maybe he had made it up? Who knew? When was the last time he took his meds? Ianto thought quickly but he was so used to taking them now that he never committed it to memory. Had he taken his pills today? Had he taken them at all this week? He could ask Jack, but Ianto knew that would only worry his partner. Ianto pondered over the notion of just taking a few extra pills whilst he was thinking about it, but then decided that this wasn't a good idea. Ianto sat back down on the floor, his hands clasped tightly together, waiting for something unknown.

Jack had spent an entire hour crying. They were mostly tears of relief but also sadness that his baby would never know the siblings it had once had. Then of course there was the guilt he felt at landing Ianto with a child when he was still so young and recovering from the past few months. Eventually Jack calmed himself enough to sit up. They would have to start planning now. They'd need all the baby stuff they could get their hands on, they'd have to tell the others what was going on, Jack would need to prepare himself for the months he'd need to spend in hiding...

For now Jack couldn't think about any of that. He needed to go and find Ianto, make sure the Welshman was ok. He stood up shakily and walked slowly out of the bedroom and down the hall, one hand straying subconsciously to his stomach. He spotted his partner sat on the floor and Jack lowered himself down next to Ianto. Reaching out Jack took one of Ianto's hands and squeezed it lightly.

"You alright?" Jack asked after a while.

"I think so," Ianto said though he sounded unsure.

"You think so?" Jack rubbed his thumb across Ianto's hand.

"No, I am," Ianto shook his head after a moment. "I just can't quite believe that..."

"I know, neither can I," Jack said quietly as Ianto trailed off.

"That's what it felt like when I went insane," Ianto continued after a moment, meeting Jack's gaze. "When they first told me that Melantha didn't exist. It didn't seem possible."

"But you're ok with the whole 'becoming a parent' thing?" Jack asked.

"I... I don't think it'll really sink in until he's born," Ianto could feel the tiny beginnings of a smile on his face. "But I think I'll be fine. Especially since I can't wait."

"Good," Jack grinned with relief, kissing Ianto softly.

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House waited outside Wilson's office at the end of the day and smiled slightly as the Oncologist came out.

"I've got something to help you with the whole dying thing," he said, falling into step beside Wilson as they headed towards the elevator.

"Oh?" Wilson asked, not sure he wanted to know what it was. "I'm ok now you know. Honestly."

"I know," House nodded. "But I thought it might help you to talk to someone else who's died and been bought back. More than once."

"How did you manage that?" Wilson frowned slightly.

"Might've set up the webcam," House smiled innocently. "To link with Cardiff again."

"Cuddy's gonna go mental when she finds out," Wilson reprimanded him.

"Will she?" House asked pretending he didn't already know that. "Added bonus then!"


	26. Back On Track

When Jack and Ianto wandered into the Hub hand in hand the next day they were barely through the door before Gwen pounced on them.

"Jack, we need to talk," she said, glancing between him and Ianto.

"T-talk? About what?" Jack asked, swallowing hard. Melody had promised that she wouldn't mention the baby to anyone, not even Elvis, but this sounded serious. Did Gwen know?

"About what you did for Wilson," Gwen continued. "And what you're going to do for him."

"What I'm-?"

"Why don't we go into your office?" Gwen suggested, leading the way before he could protest.

"I think that's her subtle way of saying she wants to talk in private," Ianto said quietly. He kissed Jack softly. "I'll see you in a bit."

"Could be in there a while," Jack sighed slightly, letting go of Ianto and heading towards his office whilst the Welshman headed towards the coffee machine.

"House has set up a webcam link again," Gwen began as soon as Jack had shut the door. "He wants to know if you'll talk to Wilson about dying? Apparently he's still a bit freaked out by the whole 'no-afterlife' thing."

"Oh right," Jack nodded. "Yeah, sure. I suppose it is a bit bleak."

"But..." Gwen hesitated. She glanced down at her feet, something else clearly on her mind.

Jack had the feeling he knew what was coming and he'd half been expecting it ever since Melody had come up with her 'cure' for death. The thing was, he thought it would be Ianto asking, not Gwen. Maybe Ianto had known Jack long enough now that he already knew what the answer would be?

"You know... this whole death cure thing..." Gwen gestured helplessly with her hands. Her reluctance to talk meant that she knew Jack was going to say no.

"Gwen, it wouldn't work," Jack said gently. "They've been dead for too long. Besides, we buried them. If it could work would you really want to dig them up and possibly have them wandering round as half decayed corpses?"

"No... I guess not..." Gwen sighed deflated. "I just thought..."

"I know," Jack pulled her in for a hug. "And you know that if there was anything I could do then I wouldn't hesitate to try."

"Yeah," Gwen smiled a little. "Come on. I told House we'd contact them as soon as you got in."

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Wilson yawned for the third time in less than ten minutes. House reached across the table and squeezed his hand apologetically.

"Sorry, I'd have organised this a bit better if I'd realised we were going to be here this late," he said.

"It's fine," Wilson smiled slightly.

"This is very cosy," Jack smirked from the giant plasma screen that House had wheeled into his boardroom for the meeting.

"Only you Jack Harkness," House rolled his eyes, turning towards the screen.

"Only me what?" Jack teased, before glancing at Wilson. "House tells me you're still a bit squiffy about the whole death thing?"

"Well I wouldn't exactly describe it that way," Wilson shifted slightly. "But yeah... it's still... troubling me..."

"I've died more times than I care to remember and despite what's on the other side, you only remember it if you come back," Jack continued. "I would give anything to be able to remain there, unknowing, un-living... you have no idea how much more painful it is to live forever, watching everyone around you die and turn to dust-"

"I said cheer him up, not make him suicidal," House interrupted.

"Actually, you just said talk to him," Jack replied. "Besides, it just needs to be put into perspective. There's nothing after death, so what you do now means something. There's nothing better waiting for you, so you've just got to make the most of what you've got now."

Wilson could feel the tiniest of smiles forming on his face. He glanced at House and saw the other doctor watching him avidly.

"I still..." Wilson hesitated. "It helped."

"Good," House turned back to the plasma screen. "Thanks Jack."

"You're welcome," Jack nodded.

"Good luck with the baby," House grinned before he terminated the connection.

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"Baby?" Gwen asked, looking at Jack in confusion.

"Yeah... about that..." Jack began.

"Jack's pregnant," Melody said, noticing that Jack wasn't sure how to tell them.

"Yeah," Jack smiled gratefully.

"Pregnant?" Elvis glanced at Melody. "And you knew?"

"Yeah, cause me knowing is the strangest part of our male Captain being pregnant," Melody said raising an eyebrow.

"We didn't want anyone else to know," Ianto said quickly. "Melody only knew because..."

He glanced at Jack, knowing that they'd have to tell them everything. Ianto began from the very beginning and explained everything.

~~

_Ianto Jones made his way down to the Hub and stepped inside, gasping at the vastness. Who'd have thought this was hidden away underneath Roald Dahl Plass?_

_"Ianto Jones!"_

_Ianto started as he realised he'd been staring. His gaze dropped to Jack Harkness who was stood between two of the desks in the middle of the Hub. A man in a white lab coat was sat at one and a Japanese girl with glasses at the other one._

_"Come and step into my office for a moment," Jack gestured, walking into the small room that Ianto assumed was the office in question. He followed a moment later and shut the door behind himself._

_"Sit down," Jack gestured at the chair in front of his desk as he perched in his own seat. Ianto wandered over and sat down slowly. "Now, today I don't expect you to get too much work done. For starters, I want you to take this credit card and buy whatever coffee machine and beans and things you need."_

_Jack slid the card across the table. Ianto picked it up and read the name on the card quickly._

_"The pin number is 6323," Jack said. "As of tomorrow though, you will need to take any and all files down to the archives and sort through them. Whenever any of us need a drink you'll fetch it and if we need backup on a mission I want you ready and waiting for the order."_

_"Yes sir," Ianto stood up. "I won't let you down."_

_Ianto headed towards the door but just as he got there Jack spoke again._

_"Oh and Ianto?"_

_"Yes sir?"_

_"I like to make frequent passes at all my members of staff, is that ok with you?"_

_"Of course sir."_

~~

"Jack?" Jack looked up at the sound of his name and smiled slightly as he focussed on Ianto.

"Sorry, I was miles away," he said.

"The others have gone home," Ianto said, leaning against Jack's office desk. "I think we should too."

"Yeah," Jack nodded and stood up, pulling Ianto in for a kiss.

"What was that for?" Ianto asked slightly bemused.

"No reason," Jack shrugged. "Love you."

"Love you too," Ianto shook his head, taking Jack's hand and smiling.


	27. Midnight Talks

House lay in bed staring at the ceiling. He could hear Wilson's breathing as the man slept beside him. He pondered with the notion of waking Wilson up, but House decided he'd better not. The pain would reveal itself all too quickly and House didn't want to worry Wilson. It had been getting worse lately, the pain. It was understandable when he and Wilson had been arguing, understandable when Wilson died. He could even understand why he was in pain when Wilson was still upset about dying. But now that they were ok again and everything was pretty much back to normal he didn't know why his leg was still getting worse.

Getting up slowly House made the agonising trip from the bed out into the hallway and round to the kitchen to fetch a glass of water. He usually kept one on the bedside table for such situations, but he found that he'd drunk it all by three in the morning and needed some more. Once he had the cool glass in his free hand he collapsed down onto the sofa, rubbing his thigh carefully, trying to knead out the pain. He couldn't take another Vicodin, not without risking serious side effects. A few years ago this wouldn't have stopped him from downing a whole bottle, but Wilson's presence made him more careful these days. It might not bother House to OD, but it would bother Wilson. House closed his eyes for a moment trying to focus on anything but the pain. His mind began to wander after a while, trailing back to memories he hadn't thought about for years.

~~

_Gregory House was never a particularly happy child, but he wasn't unhappy either. There were those who had better lives than his, but there were also those who had worse as well. He didn't have too much trouble with the constant travelling. His mother always worried that he never had time to make friends, but Greg knew that even if they stayed settled he wouldn't mix with other kids. They were just so boring, always interested in the latest craze, and he just didn't have time for trivial things like that. Most of his childhood he spent studying the human body in his spare time. He was fascinated with what bacteria did in order to spread throughout the body. Greg's father 'worried' constantly about this._

_"He should get out and play football!" _

_"Leave him be. He likes his books."_

_Greg would listen to his parents argue for hours about what he should be doing with his spare time. It didn't really matter what they thought. He wouldn't change what he was doing for anyone. It got worse though. When his grandmother grew ill in the months after the summer Greg told his father that he wasn't his father, his mother left to go and look after her, which meant that Greg and his Dad were left alone. That was when the abuse started. Ice cold baths and being made to sleep on the frosty front lawn. According to his Dad it was 'character building'. It just made Greg hate his father all the more. There were times when he would lock his bedroom door and talk to himself. He found that he was much better company than anyone else._

~~

The sofa cushion beside House dipped and he felt a hand place itself on his thigh. Smiling slightly House opened his eyes and glanced at Wilson.

"You would think that after more than a year of living together you'd know that I can't sleep when you're not there," Wilson said quietly, rubbing House's thigh gently, knowing the other man was in pain.

"Sorry," House replied. "Got bored staring at the ceiling."

"Are you ok?" Wilson asked, voice full of concern.

"I'm fine," House said automatically.

"You're a bad liar, you know that?"

"No I'm not," House shook his head. "You just know me too well."

"How many Vicodin have you had?" Wilson asked gently.

"Six," House said. "Over two hours."

"I'm not checking up on you I just-"

"Worry," House nodded. "I know."

Wilson sighed slightly and House threaded his fingers through the other man's. Surprisingly his leg hurt a little less now. Maybe it was knowing that he had someone who worried about him. That he had someone to talk to who wouldn't laugh and ridicule his ideas.

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Ianto glanced across at Jack who was fast asleep and smiled. They'd had so many restless nights in the past few months; it was nice that finally Jack was getting some proper sleep. Ianto traced his hand across Jack's stomach. There was a noticeable bulge now and during the day Jack had taken to wearing several layers in order to cover it up. Ianto found it sweet how self conscious Jack was about it.

"That tickles," Jack chuckled, causing Ianto to jump.

"I didn't realise you were awake," he said retracting his hand. "Sorry."

"Hey, no, it's fine," Jack turned to look at Ianto and pulled his hand back, linking their fingers.

"You looked so peaceful," Ianto said snuggling closer. "I didn't mean to wake you."

"You didn't," Jack shook his head. "I never really sleep properly."

"You ok?" Ianto asked worriedly.

"Yeah," Jack assured him. "Immortality just means I'm never really tired."

"You can change the nappies then," Ianto chuckled softly.

"Gee, thanks Ianto," Jack pulled a face.

Ianto leant over and kissed him gently.

"Don't worry," he said. "Chances are I'll wake up every time he snuffles."

Jack watched Ianto for a moment.

"What makes you say 'he'?" He asked after a while.

They'd both agreed that they'd wait until their child was born to find out the sex. For the moment they just wanted to enjoy the fact that their baby was actually going to live.

"I..." Ianto hesitated. He hadn't even realised that he'd been referring to their child as a 'he'. "I don't know. I just... I don't know..."

"It's that feeling though isn't it?" Jack continued. "Like he's already here. You don't think anything of it, because it's fact. You _know_ he's a he."

"Yeah," Ianto nodded. "I... I've dreamt about him as well."

"Me too," Jack admitted. "A lot."

"Are you..." Ianto leant on one elbow, watching Jack carefully, a frown on his face. "Are you home? In those dreams, is it the Boeshane Peninsula in the fifty first century?"

"Yeah... how did you..?"

"Low level psychic connection," Ianto smiled slightly. "I'm surprised you haven't noticed before."

"I forgot that they had that training at Torchwood One," Jack nodded suddenly understanding. All those times he'd known what Ianto was thinking, or known the answer to a question without even asking were suddenly explained.

"I think it is a boy," Ianto said.

"Yeah," Jack smiled slightly. "I think you might be right."


	28. The Calm Before The Storm?

Elvis Reven wandered into the Hub and sighed slightly as he took his coat off. It was starting to grow cold now and the leaves were falling in waves from the trees. He frowned slightly as he approached his desk. There was a small square box, wrapped in sparkly paper with a tag on it. Turning it over he read the message;

_Happy Birthday_

Elvis' frown deepened slightly and he opened the box pulling out the mug inside. Smiling slightly he glanced about wondering where exactly Ianto was hiding. Elvis had expected it to be from Melody, after all he hadn't really discussed the upcoming event with anyone, but the writing on the mug told him differently.

_The Tea-Boy is My Saviour_

"Like it?" Ianto asked innocently, appearing behind Elvis.

"Yeah," Elvis grinned. "How did you know it was my-?"

"I, unlike everybody else, actually bother to read the personnel files before they're archived," Ianto smiled slightly. "Now, I think you should christen your new mug with some coffee."

"You read my mind," Elvis said, handing the cup to Ianto who went to make the drinks.

Melody arrived about an hour later and found a similar mug on her own desk. She smiled and hugged Ianto as he offered to make her some coffee and then she turned to her brother.

"I got you something," she said, pulling a square present out of her desk drawer.

"Thanks," Elvis said, pulling the paper off. His smile faltered a little. "Hey! I've been looking for this!"

He flicked through the pages of the book before pulling out his own present and pushing it towards his sister.

"It's not that exciting," he admitted.

"I love them!" Melody said, holding up the new slippers her brother knew she'd been after for months.

Ianto walked past them then, dropping off Melody's mug of coffee. He moved on towards Jack's office and Melody pulled her brother in for a hug.

"I know the past few weeks have been really hard, but we're ok aren't we?" She asked.

"Yeah, course," Elvis nodded. "What made you think we weren't?"

"I dunno... I just wanted to make sure you were ok?" Melody shrugged.

"I'm fine, honest," Elvis reassured her.

Ianto smiled slightly as he heard Elvis and Melody talking and laughing. Considering they'd both told him that they liked to wind each other up they seemed to get on like a house on fire.

"Here you go," Ianto placed Jack's stripy blue mug on the desk. "Hot chocolate."

"I hate not having your coffee," Jack pouted. "Caffeine isn't that bad for the baby!"

"I just don't want to risk it ok?" Ianto said gently.

"I know," Jack smiled slightly and pulled the hot chocolate towards him. "Your hot chocolate's not that bad I guess."

"Not that bad?" Ianto rolled his eyes. "I'll have you know that my hot chocolate is the best in the world! At least... I think it is."

Ianto frowned slightly.

"You are supposed to put curry powder in it aren't you?" Ianto had to hide the smile as Jack chocked on the gulp he'd just taken. "I'm joking."

"You better be," Jack spluttered, coughing.

"You're so gullible," Ianto laughed.

Jack pouted again and took another sip of the hot chocolate. He pulled a face.

"Urgh, are you sure you didn't put curry powder in it?" He asked. "It tastes like feet."

"What?" Ianto frowned worriedly.

"Haaaa! Who's gullible now?" Jack poked a tongue out at Ianto.

"Not funny Harkness," Ianto shook his head as he wandered towards the door.

"Yes funny Jones," Jack called after him, chuckling to himself.

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"HOUSE!"

The voice of Lisa Cuddy could be heard throughout the hospital. Of course, after twelve years most of the doctor's were used to it and very few of the patients ever looked up. If they hadn't been there before, they'd heard of the infamous Gregory House.

"What did you do now?" Foreman asked, not looking up from the file he'd just been handed by House.

"Oh you know, the usual," House waved a hand vaguely. "Might've used up a few thousand pounds setting up a webcam link with Cardiff."

"Again?" Thirteen frowned slightly. "What did you-?"

"Patient. Dying." House pointed his cane at the file. "Just because I have a personal life now does not mean you can stop caring about the sick people."

"HOUSE!"

"Besides, I'm about to become one of those sick people if I let Cuddy catch me," House said quickly darting round his team and sighing when he came face to face with Cuddy.

"What have I told you about-"

"It was medicinal," House interrupted quickly. "Insurance will cover it."

"Yeah, but you sent the bill to the psychiatric ward to one Doctor Penn?" Cuddy looked at him confused.

House turned back to his team and was met with more looks of confusion.

"Patient, dying, go," he said waving his cane.

As soon as they'd disappeared off down the hall House turned back to Cuddy.

"It's Wilson's psychiatrist," he said quietly. "I just needed to cheer him up a bit."

"By setting up that webcam again?" Cuddy asked dubiously.

"Yeah," House nodded.

For a moment it looked like Cuddy was going to reprimand him, maybe even threaten him with clinic duty, but finally she nodded as well.

"Ok," she said turning to go.

House made an 'oh yes' gesture. If he'd known that playing the psychiatrist card would work then he'd have used it months ago.

"But I'm checking with Wilson," Cuddy called over her shoulder. "Don't think you can do that again without me knowing about it."

House smiled slightly and turned to head down the other way. Ah yes, things were definitely starting to get back to normal. Halfway down the corridor House stumbled, a shot of pain jolting through his thigh again. Hissing, he clutched the muscle, rubbing it furiously. He didn't even notice Wilson appear at his side until the other man spoke.

"House?" He reached out a hand. "Come on."

"I'm fine," House said, leaning heavily against the wall.

"No, come with me," Wilson said gently. "Please."

"W-where are we going?" House asked, looking up at his partner.

"I think we should get you an MRI," Wilson replied, helping to support House.


	29. Surprise Surprise

"Hurry up," House's petulant voice whined over the speakers.

"I can't make the machine work any faster," Wilson replied. "Keep still."

"I don't see why we're doing this stupid MRI anyway," House sighed. "You're not going to find anything."

"You don't know that," Wilson rolled his eyes, almost able to see House pulling a face. "Keep. Still."

"I have a patient who could be dying right now!" House complained. "And Cuddy hasn't lost her temper in nearly three hours now. She's going to think she's off the hook for the day."

"We'll be done quicker if you just lie still," Wilson sighed exasperatedly.

The door to the MRI room suddenly opened. Wilson turned the machine off and went out to see exactly what it was that Kutner wanted.

"I'm trying to do a scan here," he said.

"Yeah, I know," Kutner had the good grace to look embarrassed at least. "But I need House to take a look at this."

House had shuffled out of the MRI machine and limped across the room, taking the x-ray out of Kutner's hands and examining it. He frowned slightly.

"Well that's not supposed to be there," he muttered, grabbing his cane.

"House, we're not finished," Wilson protested as the other doctor headed for the door, Kutner following.

"It can wait," House waved the x-ray vaguely as he disappeared.

Sighing, Wilson turned back to the MRI in order to print off what information he had. Packing up the scans into House's file, Wilson tucked it under one arm and let himself out into the hallway.

Halfway up to his office he ran into Cuddy coming the other way. She had that 'I've spoken to House and now I want your version of events' look on her face. Wilson smiled as she stopped in front of him.

"Doctor Penn?" She began.

"Uhh... what about him?" Wilson frowned slightly.

"He's your psychiatrist yeah?" Cuddy checked.

"Yeah... why?" Wilson asked confused.

"House sent the bill for the webcam link to him," Cuddy replied. "Said it was therapeutic."

"Well..." Wilson considered. "It... it was..."

"But perhaps not something that he should've charged your psychiatrist for?" There was a hint of a smile on Cuddy's face.

"No," Wilson agreed. "But it's the hospital that pays for it officially isn't it?"

"Yeah," Cuddy nodded. "Don't worry, I'll let this one slip. Just keep him under control."

"I'll try," Wilson chuckled. "It's not as easy as all that."

"You're a good influence on him Wilson," Cuddy patted his arms as she wandered off.

Wilson smiled slightly and carried on towards his office. Once he was sat down behind his desk, he opened up House's file and began comparing the scans. After a moment, and several times double checking he paged House, shaking slightly.

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"Stop complaining," Ianto said as Jack groaned for the thousandth time that morning.

"It's not my fault the baby's decided to squish my bladder," Jack replied as he made the trip from the sofa across the Hub to the loo for the thousandth time.

"Yeah, but we don't all need to know about it," Ianto chuckled following. "You won't have to put up with it much longer anyway."

Jack cradled the seven month old bump as he went into one of the cubicles. Ianto stood outside trying not to look like he was being protective. In the past few weeks he'd taken to following Jack like a lost puppy.

"You know I can pee by myself," Jack smiled slightly, knowing Ianto was just outside the cubicle.

"I know," Ianto said. "I'm just..."

"Protective," Jack finished Ianto's sentence as he came out of the loo. "It's fine, I don't really mind."

"I'm just worried," Ianto admitted. "I mean after everything we've been through what if the birth-"

"It won't," Jack dried his hands once he'd washed them and kissed Ianto softly. "He'll be fine ok?"

"But what if-"

"No 'what ifs'," Jack said quickly. "We're going to have this baby and we'll be great parents and bring him up to be a proper little alien hunter, ok?"

"Ok," Ianto nodded weakly, hugging Jack. "I'm still terrified though."

"Why?" Jack asked bemused.

"Becoming a parent is the scariest prospect I've ever faced," Ianto grinned. "Not even catching Weevils is this scary."

"Yeah," Jack kissed Ianto again, taking his hand and leading the way back up to the main part of the Hub. "You're right there."

He sat back down on the sofa, Ianto perching beside him. Gwen and Elvis were out checking to see if the reports of a haunted house had any rift involvement they should know about and Melody was down in the archives looking up some past autopsy reports, so Jack and Ianto pretty much had the Hub to themselves.

"He's still kicking," Jack said, taking Ianto's hand and guiding it over the spot.

"He's strong," Ianto smiled as he felt the kick.

"Championship football player?" Jack suggested.

"Mm, I was thinking more world famous ballet dancer," Ianto chuckled.

"You are unbelievably camp sometimes," Jack shook his head.

"Gee thanks," Ianto nudged him gently.

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House pushed open Wilson's office door at the end of the day. Another patient saved and he'd managed to annoy Cuddy four more times, so all in all it had been a very good day.

He flopped down carefully on the couch in Wilson's office, rubbing his thigh as he glanced at the other man.

"Sorry I took so long," he said. "I was in the middle of insulting the team when you paged."

"It's fine," Wilson shook his head.

"So... what did you want to talk to me about?" House asked.

"Well... I still need to get a second opinion to be sure and even then it might be nothing..." Wilson said quickly.

"Wilson... what is it?" House sat up worriedly.

"Your scans... I..."

"You found something?" House asked.

"Yeah..." Wilson nodded.

"Something bad?" House stood up and limped over to the desk. "I'm guessing cancer; otherwise you'd have already got someone else involved."

"No... it's not that..." Wilson said. "There's... there's nerve regeneration."


	30. Looking Forward

**5 Years Later: July 19th 2013**

House smiled slightly as he pulled Wilson down the street.

"Come on!" He said. "I want to get home in time for SpongeBob!"

"You and that bloody sponge," Wilson tutted, but he too was smiling.

"Well if I watch it now, we have time for other things later," House replied quietly.

"Greg," Wilson groaned. "I might have other things I want to do today."

"Ok, ok," House rolled his eyes as he almost bounded ahead.

He still had a limp and the Vicodin supply had only dipped a little, but the cane had been abandoned over a year ago after House had agreed to go to rehab. It had taken a lot of persuasion and support from Wilson but finally House was approaching something that vaguely resembled happy. They reached the flat they had been living in together for three years and House opened the door letting them inside where they were greeted by the shouts of friends.

"Happy Birthday!"

Wilson blinked and glanced at House.

"Did you do this?" He asked.

"Yup," House nodded. "Happy Birthday."

Wilson grinned and wandered round saying hello to everyone who had turned up. There was Foreman in one corner talking to Taub and his wife. Chase was over by the buffet table with a very pregnant Cameron, laughing at something Cuddy said as the Dean picked up her adopted daughter Joy. Thirteen and her long term girlfriend Claire were chatting to Kutner. Foreman's own team were also there, laughing and joking. He'd moved from Princeton Plainsboro to another hospital where they'd made him head of Diagnostics and given him ducklings of his own.

Four hours of partying and several drunken games of twister later, Wilson and House were the only two left in the very messy flat, sprawled together on the couch.

"Thanks, Greg," Wilson smiled slightly, taking the other man's hand. "For everything."

"Nothing to thank me for," House shrugged. "You're the one that Cuddy claims has 'made me happy'."

"Well I try my best to work miracles," Wilson agreed smugly.

"Not so much a miracle as charity case," House laughed softly.

"You're not a charity case," Wilson glanced at House. "Besides, it doesn't matter. I helped you because I love you."

"I love you too," House replied, kissing Wilson softly. "Always have done, always will."

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Jack Harkness ran over the sand dunes, almost slipping and falling. Nearly two thousand years in his past when he'd first run over sand like this, it had been the day he lost his brother. This time was much happier fortunately. He was chasing a five year old boy with dark brown curls and bright blue eyes. The child was giggling as he tried to keep ahead, scrabbling with more agility than the average five year old.

"Gotcha!" Jack cried as he scooped the boy into his arms and began blowing raspberries on his stomach.

The boy laughed louder and tried to wriggle free of Jack's grip, but Jack held him tighter. He wandered towards the blanket spread on the sand not too far from where they were.

"I'm not sure which one of you is going to be more tired tonight," Ianto chuckled, passing another strawberry to the small girl sat in his lap.

February 14th 2009 had seen the birth of their son Evan, safe and happy after the rocky few months they'd had during the pregnancy. He'd been perfect, ten toes, ten fingers, gorgeous blue eyes and curly brown hair. The first few years bringing Evan up they hadn't even considered having another child and Elin was as much of an accident as her brother, but she too was something that neither Jack nor Ianto would change for the world. December 20th 2012 saw her arrive, just as perfect as her brother if a little more determined to keep her parents up at night.

"I think I am," Jack said panting. "This little tyke is full of energy today."

"Can I have a fairy cake?" Evan asked, pointing at the box of pink iced cakes that Ianto had made that morning.

"Course you can," Jack said, picking up the box and allowing his son to pick one out.

Evan picked out the biggest one he could find, pulling the cake case off and taking the Smartie before licking all the icing. It made Ianto smile how Evan ate things. Elin, face covered with strawberry juice, reached out for a fairy cake as she saw that her brother was having one. Ianto pulled one out of the box and took the wrapper off for his daughter. She took it out his hand and began munching on it, not quite as picky about how she ate.

"It's funny to think how this all started," Ianto said after a while.

"Oh?" Jack looked up.

"Well... one fateful day, that has yet to happen for most of the world," Ianto continued. "If you'd... well if you'd never lost your brother, we wouldn't be here now."

"Yeah... I suppose we wouldn't..." Jack agreed thoughtfully. "I guess that day wasn't completely devastating."

"Oh... Jack, I didn't mean-"

"No, you're right," Jack said quickly. "None of this would ever have happened and for all I know, Gray and I could still be living on the Boeshane Peninsula, alive and safe, but unhappy. I wouldn't change any of this – anything I have now – for the world."

"So you're happy with us?" Ianto asked.

"Course I am," Jack smiled slightly, kissing the top of Evan's head. "How could I not be with two beautiful kids?"

"Hey! What about me?" Ianto pouted.

"Ok, two beautiful kids and a fantastic, amazingly gorgeous, hot Welshman for a partner," Jack amended.

"That's better," Ianto said nodding smugly.

"And I love you," Jack continued genuinely.

"Love you!" Echoed Evan.

"Wuv you!" Elin copied.

Jack and Ianto both laughed. They're children were so adorable sometimes. Jack shuffled closer to Ianto kissing him softly.

"I love you too," Ianto said.

Evan climbed off Jack's lap and went to build a sandcastle, picking up the red bucket that was just past the edge of the blanket. Jack smiled slightly as he watched his son. Elin made a noise of protest reaching out her hands towards her brother. Standing up Ianto took Elin over to Evan.

"Do you want to help your sister build a sandcastle?" Ianto asked.

"Ok," Evan nodded watching as Ianto sat Elin down next to him.. "Here you go."

He handed Elin the small spade he had, helping her to scoop the sand into the bucket. Ianto went and sat down with Jack again.

"They're amazing aren't they?" Jack said softly. "Considering how they came about."

"Yeah, they are," Ianto nodded.

Both of them had lost their families at some point during their childhood, but after meeting each other they'd somehow ended up creating a new one together. History didn't matter anymore, just their future together.


End file.
